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I find it astonishing that such a great number of high-caliber stars could come together to make such a pathetic movie. I was skeptical when I first picked it up -- and it only took me about five minutes to determine that my suspicions were correct. This is, in fact, a cheesy movie.
Alec Baldwin stars as Lamont Cranston, who disappears after World War 1 and finds himself as a long-haired, long-purple-nailed drug lord who lives on drugs and women. One night, he’s kidnapped and brought to a temple where he’s taught to use the dark shadow within him for good.
Seven years later, he shows up in New York City, an unemployed playboy by day (complete with fabulous mansion) and a mysterious crime fighter with the ability to control men’s minds by night.
Everything is going great for The Shadow. He’s fighting crime. He has dinner with his wealthy uncle (Jonathan Winters) at the Cobalt Club. He even meets a girl (Penelope Ann Miller) who has a mysterious ability to read his mind (and she also wears nothing but evening gowns -- what more could a man ask?).
Of course, there’s his laughing problem. Whenever he becomes The Shadow and turns invisible, he can’t stop laughing his menacing laugh. Perhaps it’s a nervous problem. Sometimes I laugh a lot when I’m nervous. But I don’t have the ability to become invisible, so it never gives away my location, allowing people to shoot at me. But that’s not The Shadow’s greatest problem.
The big problem is that the last remaining descendant of Genghis Khan (John Lone) has appeared in New York, and he’s determined to take over the world. He has the same mind-controlling Jedi powers as Cranston does, and he tries to convince Cranston to use his dark shadow and join his evil plot.
Can The Shadow stop Khan’s plot to use the newly-discovered atomic bomb to take over the world -- while resisting the temptation to give in to the dark side?
I hope -- for your sake -- that you never find out.
The Shadow is a radio show remake gone bad. Sure, The Shadow has great toys -- but that’s nowhere near enough to make up for the sheer cheesiness of it all. The story is silly, and the dialog is ridiculous. Please don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t watch this movie -- it’s painful.
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