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Dear Christine,
I have what some consider an inappropriate sense of humour. Some women won’t date me a second time, and I’ve actually had a woman walk out in the middle of a date, when I cracked a joke at a time of stress.
I would never poke fun at anyone else’s expense. But I’ve seen a lot of death and sadness in my life, and I truly believe that humour has been my only salvation. How can I make women understand that I’m not a callous clown? -- FUNNY, BUT SOLO – VERO BEACH, FLORIDA
Dear Funny,
A sense of humour is a great self-defence mechanism. Often those with the most horrors in their lives have the best senses of humour. I guess that’s what makes the good times most humorous.
I’m probably the worst person to ask, but I say hold out for a woman who will appreciate your sense of ha-ha.
One day (when you’re ready), you’ll have to let your guard down and let someone special in; but in the meantime, have you heard the one about the three nuns standing in front of the fish market?
Dear Christine,
I feel pretty absurd asking a total stranger for advice, but I’ve been reading you for a while and figured you might have some insight for me.
It all started when I found out that a man I’m physically attracted to is moving out of the country. Before having heard the news of his moving, I made light of his flirtation and avoided any intimate moments because I know he’s a long-term type.
It was only upon hearing the news of him moving overseas that I decided to spend a wanton weekend with him. It was animal magnetism at its best. I think the reason it was so good was because it was frivolous, and I was unaccountable.
Now he’s talking about refusing the job offer, cancelling his move, and staying here so that we can be together.
Nice girls don’t just have flings like this without any expectation for a relationship. How can I possibly tell him that I don’t want to pursue a future with him? There’s got to be a way out without coming across as a tramp. -- OOPSIE DAISY – LONDON
Dear Oopsie,
“Coming across as a tramp.”
You sure said it with that comment. And now that you’ve “come across”, you’ve nullified the “nice girls don’t” theory. Now you either have to tell him the truth, or tell me where you’re going to be registered so I can buy you the perfect wedding gift.
Dear Christine,
Thank you for checking out singles events and dating services personally. It’s nice to get an objective opinion on various methods for meeting people. I enjoyed your piece on speed dating and look forward to hearing about more hands-on accounts of dating options.
What else have you tried? Have you ever tried those online dating services?
I’ve heard of a match making company called Misty River Introductions that claims to have a more personal touch. It’s a lot more expensive than the other approaches I’ve tried. Does the you-get-what-you-pay-for theory apply? -- CURIOUS CATHLEEN – TILSONBURG
Dear Cathleen,
I have been getting out as much as possible. I’ve attended a singles’ night at Stonehenge hosted by Paul Damon and FM96, then a Minidating (speed dating) event at Old Chicago. I’ve joined Singles Canada for online dating and will keep you posted. A London singles’ club called Adventures in Friendship (519-434-4061) puts out a great newsletter that I’ve been checking out. They have everything from dinner and cards to sporting events and wine tastings. Sounds good.
And now that you’ve brought them to my attention, I’ll check out Misty River Introductions.
I’ll let you know if the you-get-what-you-pay-for theory applies.
Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed), e-mail Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com
Originally published in The London Free Press on April 10, 2003.
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