Royally Speaking
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Let's take a peek at what the Royals have been up to.

It’s Not Nice to Name Call

In an interview with CBS, Mohammed Al Fayed called Prince Philip a “Nazi” and a “gangster.” You probably know that Mr. Fayed maintains that his son Dodi and Princess Diana were murdered when the car in which they were riding was deliberately crashed. Fayed insists Prince Philip is behind the tragedy because, according to Fayed, Prince Philip is "very racist," of German blood, and Fayed is sure Prince Philip is a "Nazi sympathizer." He insists that he has seen letters from that “Nazi bastard” Prince Philip to Princess Diana in which the prince consort threatened to kill her.

Some think it’s sour grapes on Fayed’s part. Even though Fayed resided in the UK for 35 years, has donated millions to British charities, owns Harrod’s in Knightsbridge, and has holdings in other British interests, he was repeatedly denied British citizenship—his character having been deemed unsuitable—apparently as a result of his involvement in various scandals.

Fayed also criticized Prince Charles’ new bride. He not only said that Camilla looks like a crocodile, but he also asked, "How can anyone wake up in the morning next to a woman whose face is like a donkey?"

Now that’s just going too far.


The vicar made a faux pas for failing to mention the Duchess of Cornwall in prayers at a New Year’s Day service attended by the Queen herself. Good thing Charles and Camilla weren’t there. Rumors abounded that senior royals ordered the omission, since the reverend referred all inquiries to the Buckingham Palace press office. But the Palace maintains that individual vicars choose who they wish to include in their prayers. And it probably has nothing to do with the Queen failing to mention Charles and Camilla’s wedding during her annual Christmas address.

And I’m sure the Queen never meant to leave photo or mention of Camilla out of her online 80th birthday photo album. Diana’s in there. Fergie’s in there, too. But alas, no Camilla.

An oversight, no doubt.

Costly Camilla

A report calling for a comparison of costs incurred by Camilla and those of the late Princess Diana in the performance of constitutional duties shows that Camilla has cost British taxpayers £600,000 since becoming a member of the royal family, the majority of the money used to fund the couple’s numerous overseas trips. The Member of Parliament investigating Charles’ spending believes that the British taxpayers will obviously be concerned if Camilla is more high-maintenance than Diana. Of course, the prince’s office says the numbers are inaccurate and insists that the additional cost of Camilla is “marginal.” Yeah. Okay.

Meanwhile, the Prince and the Duchess are planning to reside in Scotland on a semi-permanent basis. But Camilla is still hanging on to her old house in England, which she hardly ever uses, and the politicians are pretty P.O.’d that the old homestead costs £2.6 million a year to guard.

Mutton to It

Charles is pushing mutton meat to help out the sheep farmers. Speaking to guests at a dinner to launch the Mutton Renaissance Club at the Ritz in London, the Prince said he had “fond childhood memories” of mutton and thinks it’s tragic the meat has fallen out of favor. Oh, yeah, Charles. Like you ever ate old sheep meat.

How does Prince Charles maintain his svelte physique? Reportedly, he eats just one meal a day. Betcha he ain’t eating mutton.

Here You Go, Charles

It seems that the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh are intending to slow down some. The Queen is now down to a three-day work week (Monday lunchtime to midday Thursday). They want to spend more time at Windsor Castle and less time in London. Apparently, Prince Philip suffers from jet lag, and the Queen fell asleep at an official engagement in Germany a couple of years ago. I say good for them. I respect people who are aware of their limitations. And get this: Since Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall’s visit to the United States last year was so successful (see Charles and Camilla-the U.S. Tour), the Queen has decided to give Charles more official duties: more access to government documents, more meetings with ministers, and more welcoming of foreign dignitaries and ambassadors. The Queen will, however, continue her official weekly meetings with the Prime Minister. Hey, Charles can’t do everything, you know.

Well, that's it for this month. Stop back next month for some more rollicking good fun.

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