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It is not my intention to offend all those thoughtful and considerate guys out there who are totally innocent of this offense, nor do I mean to infer that this is only a guy thing. However, being the only female in a house full of males I know that I alone am completely innocent of this heinous crime. What is this horrible crime of which I speak you might ask? It’s leaving the last little tiny minuscule amount of something in a container.
I am solely responsible for the hunting and gathering in my family, a job that I do not take lightly. For years I have prided myself on always having the staples in our home in spite of our financial circumstances. Now that my guys are older and our finances are on the rise, you would think that our food supply would always be in abundance. Well, guess again, honey...
Today I decided to follow Oprah’s advice and not only eat breakfast (something I’m ashamed to admit I rarely do), but make it special. I went into my china cabinet and took out one of my “for special company only” crystal salad bowls and a silver teaspoon. I lovingly placed them on the kitchen counter and went into the pantry to get the box of Frosted Mini Wheats. When I opened the box and poured the contents into my bowl, out tumbled three mutilated little biscuits and a pile of shredded wheat. Thank goodness I was using one of my “for special company only” crystal bowls; I was able to overcome my disappointment and continue on with my special “just for me time” breakfast.
Even with the sun glistening all around my bowl, the cereal looked lost. I decided to add in some raisins. I opened up the cupboard door and lifted out the canister of raisins. When I lifted off the lid I found a single raisin residing inside. I added this pitiful contribution to my bowl.
Still determined to have a full bowl of food, I headed for my supply of nuts. Apparently, the gerbils had called dibs on all but four almonds and a bunch of walnut dust.
You might think that having an almost empty cereal bowl and an overloaded trash bag would have dampened my resolve, but it didn’t. I looked at my beautiful bowl with its meager contents and headed to the refrigerator for some milk. Yep, you guessed it. The bottle held about an eyedropper full of milk.
For years I overlooked potato chip bags with two chips in them, ice cream containers with only a spoonful left inside and empty Tastykake boxes left on the shelf telling myself, “It’s for the best. I didn’t need the calories.”
I have replaced empty toilet tissue rolls and tissue boxes with a sigh, “It’s all in a day’s work.”
I tried to be a good sport when I went to the refrigerator for some lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers to make a salad for Sunday dinner and found the crisper empty, leaving me no alternative but to run out in the pouring rain in my good clothes to collect some from the garden.
When I found the shampoo bottle empty and was forced to use hand soap to wash my hair, did I complain? Okay, I did. But who could blame me--my hair ended up looking like straw.
Will someone kindly explain this phenomenon to me? Is this a question of nature versus nurture? Am I expecting too much from the men in my life? Are they incapable of throwing things away by themselves?
Oh, well; I’ll ponder these questions later. For now I’m going to throw the contents of my cereal bowl out to the birds and make myself an omelet.
ALL RIGHT--WHO LEFT THE EMPTY EGG CARTON IN THE REFRIGERATOR?
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