The Buzz: Hollywood—One Big Courtroom
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Star (“I’m a lawyer”) Jones should really do something with her hair. I mean, the glasses are bad enough, but the lanky hair does nothing for her new svelte image.

*****

Former O.J. Simpson prosecutor Marcia Clark is reporting on the former athlete’s new arrest in Las Vegas. The Associated Press published a picture of Clark, now legal correspondent for Entertainment Tonight and The Insider, sitting in Las Vegas District Court waiting for Simpson’s arraignment on the new charges. Clark has lost the poodle perm and now sports a blonde bob. She looks a little tired around the eyes, but you don’t really notice this because of the eye-popping cleavage hanging out of her blouse. Now, it could be we’re a little uptight here in the Northeast, but I never saw a sight like that in the many courtrooms I’ve been in. But Clark’s recent photo does remind me of the streetwalkers I ran into in the ladies’ room of one inner-city courthouse. They were waiting for their pimps to come bail them out.

  
 
*****

And can we talk about Phil Spector? The Hall of Fame record producer has been on trial for months for the murder of Lana Clarkson, who was a hostess at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip. Mother of God, someone get that man to a stylist. Granted, sitting in a courtroom for months on end, waiting to see if a jury is going to find him guilty of murder is no doubt stressful, and this guy was getting more buggy-eyed every day. I understand his wife styles his hair for him. Spector may want to hire a new stylist now that a mistrial has been declared because of a hung jury (ten for guilty, two for not guilty). Maybe he can get himself a new, less scary look for Round Two.

*****

Finally, can things get any worse for Britney Spears? She lost physical custody of her children to her ex-husband, supposedly because she did not submit to court-ordered drug testing. That poor girl has alienated everyone around her—her husband, her parents, her manager, her lawyer—and that’s too bad because she really needs help. The good news is that Britney just got her California driver’s license (she’s been riding around all this time without one). Maybe she can drive herself to a good psychiatrist before she has a total breakdown and get the help she so desperately needs.

Stay tuned.

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