Single Man Develops Healthy New Diet
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PARSONS, KS Single man Tony Victor, a mechanical engineer in Parsons has discovered what he believes is the perfect diet. In a press conference last week, he unveiled his diet plan to nutritionists and members of the international media.

“Um, I just eat a lot of Flakey Frosties,” said Victor, referring to his local grocery store’s generic version of a popular breakfast cereal. “I’ve got it all figured out. If you’ll take a look at this chart, you’ll understand,” he said, producing a large, colorful chart of the nutritional value of Frosted Flakes and milk.

Victor pointed out that a 32-gram serving of Flakey Frosties, along with one-half-cup of milk, provides a number of essential vitamins, including Riboflavin and Niacin, of which nutritionists are still trying to figure out the purpose. By eating a mere two or three bowls of Flakey Frosties each day, Victor provides his body with the important nutrients it needs to maintain some sort of strength and fitness.

Victor first began his research on the popular breakfast cereal when he realized that he hated to cook—and, after moving out of his parents’ home, he no longer had anyone to cook for him. Still, Victor understood the importance of vitamins and minerals in his diet, so he began an in-depth study of the nutrients in breakfast cereals.

“Occasionally, I’ll supplement my diet with macaroni and cheese or even Ramen noodles,” said Victor. “And I looked into other cereals, but I’ve chosen to stick with Flakey Frosties, ‘cuz I like the frosting,” he chuckled.

Victor will admit that his diet isn’t without flaws. And while his complete daily diet keeps him low in fat and cholesterol, it also lacks protein, which he has chosen to supplement on occasion with pork rinds.

Spokespeople from Bright Beginnings, the company that makes Flakey Frosties, are ecstatic about Victor’s research. “Bright Beginnings has been promoting the importance of a healthy diet for years now, and we’re so glad that more and more people are beginning to realize that Flakey Frosties aren’t just for kids. And they’re not just a healthy part of the adult diet, but they’re also a healthy, self-contained adult diet.”

Bright Beginnings is currently working with Victor to publish a book on his new diet. They’re also working with dieticians to develop similar diet plans using their other cereals.

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