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German director Uwe Boll is nothing if not a fascinating character. Known for his movies based on video games (like the two BloodRayne movies and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale), Boll is also infamous for his arrogance. In fact, egotistical-director-wise, he ranks right up there with M. Night Shyamalan. The difference between the two, however, is that some people like Shyamalan’s movies. Boll, however…not so much. Of the 15 films he’s released, six have made it into the Bottom 100 on IMDb. And, also on IMDb, not a single one of his movies has managed as high as a five-star (out of ten) rating.
Then again, maybe that’s reason enough to be proud: in an industry that’s governed by the fickle tastes of the viewing public, hating Uwe Boll movies is the one thing on which movie lovers around the world can generally agree. And Boll seems to revel in that fact.
Somehow, though, I’d never actually seen a Uwe Boll movie. So, finally, when Postal came out on DVD, I decided that it was time for me to bite the bullet—especially since I’d heard that Postal is actually one of his best. But does that mean it’s a good movie? Well…not really.
Another video game adaptation, Postal is the story of a guy known only as “Postal Dude” (Zack Ward), who joins with his Uncle Dave (Dave Foley), the leader of a fake cult, in a mission to steal the only remaining shipment of highly in-demand Krotchy dolls (which sound like Verne Troyer and look like a part of the male anatomy). Uncle Dave wants them because they’ll earn him a fortune—which will help him pay off his debts to the IRS.
The problem, however, is that Uncle Dave and his gorgeous, over-sexed band of zealots aren’t the only ones who want the dolls. For some reason, the Taliban is after them, too. So it’s a race to see who will get the dolls: Osama and his arsenal or Dave and his hot chicks in Hitler mustaches.
Though most DVD cases go on about how great the movie is, the Postal DVD tells it like it is. Across the bottom are three words: Disgusting. Offensive. Stupid. And Postal is everything its DVD promises. It’s crude and profane. It’s violent and disgusting. It’s disturbing and completely bizarre. And it’s often in very, very bad taste. But sometimes it’s also surprisingly funny—in a South Park meets Army of Darkness kind of way.
While I’ve heard that Boll has a tendency to take himself way too seriously, Postal accepts itself for what it is—a corny comedy. It’s completely unapologetic in its corniness—and, sometimes, it pays off. There are plenty of gags that work really well—and Troyer, especially, is hilarious. In fact, I often found myself laughing out loud—even when I didn’t really want to.
The problem with Postal, however, is that it’s just a little too…everything. It’s a little too offensive, a little too crude, a little too bizarre. There’s a little too much nudity involving Dave Foley (which, of course, is any amount of nudity involving Dave Foley). And then, in a closing monologue, it’s a little too preachy.
Postal does have its funny moments and its craptastic moments—but, in order to enjoy them, you’ll have to endure a lot of bad moments, too. You’ll also need a twisted sense of humor and a high tolerance for the highly offensive. So while it’s guaranteed to be a frat house classic, the rest of you should probably think twice before picking up a copy.
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