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No doubt about it: the royal wedding was a smashing success. The new Princess Catherine’s dress, which she helped designed in collaboration with dress designer Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen, was stunning—absolute perfection. I only wish the veil didn’t look like a curtain someone threw over her head. Something that sat a little off the crown of her head would have been more flattering, but they didn’t consult me. William and Harry were both handsome in their uniforms. Maid of Honor Pippa Middleton’s dress, also designed by Sarah Burton, was a show stopper. And the bride and groom’s after-wedding party frocks—another Sarah Burton dress for her and a tux for him—were equally flattering. Such good taste. And, of course, there was Charles, in his uniform for a service he never served in, weighted down by medals he didn’t earn. (I called that one in the Pre-Wedding Peek).
The Queen was quite sunny in her yellow outfit and hat and Prince Phillip most regal in his uniform, belting out the hymns despite his 90 years. I know I was impressed.
Kate's mother, Carole Middleton, looked like royalty in her light blue suit and hat. I thought Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, looked nice, although her hat was one of the widest I observed. It looked like sort of a bowler style, with a wing coming out of it. It seemed like Camilla was a little hyped up, though. Perhaps she downed a lot of coffee, or maybe a Red Bull, before the Rolls arrived.
By the by, the buzz is that Camilla had a hand in the guest list, to the tune of excluding long-time friends of William’s mother, Diana—including Rosa Monckton, Lady Anabel Goldsmith, and Lucia Flecha de Lima. (One had a part in choosing Diana’s London memorial, one gave evidence at the inquest into Diana’s death, and one played host to a young Prince William and his mother at her home on several occasions.) Camilla supposedly also had a say in the seating plans at the Abbey. Could this be why the Spencers were seated on the bride’s side with the Middletons?
And what about some of those other outfits? Like the Beckhams, both dressed in navy blue. David Beckham proudly displayed his Order of the British Empire medal—on the wrong lapel (right rather than left). He switched it to his left lapel when he got inside the Abbey. And did you get a gander at Beckham’s wife, the ever-scowling Victoria, and her shoes? It must be quite the feat to be able to wear shoes with heels that high while pregnant. One Royally Speaking reader emailed me with this comment: “If Posh Spice had been wearing red, she would have been mistaken for a car hop.” Thank you, kind reader. You said it better than anything I could have come up with.
Socialite Tara Palmer Tomkinson arrived at the wedding clad from head to toe in cobalt blue, (including leather elbow-length gloves)—and sporting a new nose. (I thought the nose looked rather Michael Jackson-ish, but it was better than the gloves.)
The late Princess Diana’s nieces, Earl Spencer’s daughters, all blondes, wore elaborate headpieces. They looked like three Paris Hiltons sitting in a row.
I think we can all agree that Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie take the royal fruitcake for their wedding outfits.
First off, Princess Eugenie has my sympathy. But something really has to be done here. This girl is a royal princess, and someone let her out in this ill-fitting, too-tight, awful Vivienne Westwood outfit. Someone told her this looked good on her. Someone should be ashamed. This dress was so bad it made her tri-colored, feather-ridden Philip Treacy hat look good. I mean, come on. She looked like Thomas the Tank Engine in that outfit.
And let’s not forget Princess Beatrice. The taupe Valentino Haute Couture dress and matching coat were all right (although she could have done without the tie around the waist), but what was with that outlandish Philip Treacy fascinator she wore? (In Britain, the hats are called fascinators, and hers was certainly fascinating.) How in the hell did she get out of the palace with this thing on her head? And if you look really hard at some of the pictures, you can see the elastic holding the thing onto her head, like a kid’s birthday hat. One didn’t know whether to throw balls through it to win arcade tickets or try to kill it.
In case you were wondering about the Abbey arbor, here’s the scoop: four tons of foliage were delivered to Westminster Abbey, including twenty-foot English Field Maple trees, azaleas, rhododendrons, euphorbias, beech, wisteria, lilac, and Chinese Gooseberry. Purpose: to create a lavish English country garden inside Westminster Abbey. Cost: £50,000. But take heart. The growing trees and plants were replanted, and the cut flowers were donated to charity.
Oh, and here’s an update on the canapés served at the reception lunch. There were Scottish langoustines with lemon mayonnaise, pressed confit of pork belly (Pork belly? Really?) with crayfish and crackling and cornish crab salad on a lemon blini, and chipolata sausage. Sweet canapés included rhubarb creme brulee tartlet and a blood orange pate de fruit. This is probably in addition to the smoked salmon on beet blinis and quail eggs sprinkled with celery salt previously reported in the Pre-Wedding Peek.
Now I know you’re all chomping at the bit for info on the menu for the 300-guest wedding dinner—the second wedding reception hosted by Prince Charles at Buckingham Palace. Well, here it is. Guests were served vintage pink champagne, peach bellinis, and elderflower cocktails at the pre-dinner drinks reception. Dinner started with dressed crab from Wales, accompanied with mini crab timbale, crayfish and prawns, salmon, and langoustine. (People with seafood allergies had to have sat this one out. Maybe they got a fruit cup or something.) The main course was lamb from the Castle of Mey, the former residence of Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, with spring vegetables from Prince Charles’s Highgrove estate. Dessert was a trio of mini-puddings of trifle, chocolate fondant, and homemade ice cream in brandy-snap baskets, accompanied by a white Meursault burgundy and Pomerol claret. Coffee and petit fours followed. Speeches were made, with Harry saying that his mother would have been proud of William for marrying Kate, who was “like a sister.” William referred to Kate as “my rock.” Awwww.
Then the Queen, the Duke of Edenburgh, and the other old people left, and the real partying began. The bar doled out Pol Roger champagne, Sambuca slammers, and cocktails including mojitos and the Boujis nightclub specialty, Crack Baby—vodka, passion fruit, raspberry liqueur, and champagne. Word has it that some of the women guests got catty, criticizing other women’s outfits. (Well, what did you expect? Did you get a look at that crowd?) And if you heard reports that Prince Harry crowd-surfed and danced on the windowsills, word has it that those reports were “exaggerated.” Bacon Butties were served around 2:30 a.m., and there were fireworks on the lawn. As the party began to break up, some guests went home, and others, including Prince Harry, went on to an after-party. A good time was had by all.
When the partying was over, the Queen went to Windsor. Charles went to the theater. Kate and William went back to Anglesey, where he resumed his RAF service and she went to the supermarket. Kate’s dad (Maury Povich lookalike Michael Middleton) went home and mowed the lawn. The street revelers went home. The trash was cleaned up. Osama bin Laden was captured and killed, and life went on.
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