They Didn’t Know It Was Loaded and A Friendly Frisk
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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines covers a man who asked to be banned from British Columbia, a former narcotics detective who plans to take a leaf from Hooters and open a bikini bar, a guy who declines to testify against his pistol-packing girlfriend, and a woman who can’t be parted from her vodka.

The Cheese Stands Alone

Originally reported by United Press International

A Canadian man who stole $50 worth of cheese has asked for banishment from British Columbia. A judge in Surrey granted the request Friday, The (Vancouver) Province reported.

Wayne Francis Foley, 55, was sentenced to 60 days in jail, most of it covered by time served, and ordered to stay out of British Columbia during a year's probation.

Foley, a native of the Maritime Provinces, said he plans to live with his mother in Nova Scotia. He said he asked for banishment because he believes it will encourage him to move.

We trust banishment works out for Foley. If not, maybe he can request a Trial by Fire or just have some friendly villagers pelt him with stones.

Bikini Bar for Sport Fans

Originally reported by United Press International

A former New York City police detective is planning to open a bikini bar near the newly opened Barclays Center to attract sport fans.

Michael Bell, a retired narcotics detective, said the cabaret would feature “poll” dancing, cocktail service, and a full bar. Female employees would wear bikinis, but there would not be any nudity.

"Imagine Hooters but upscale and with alcohol," he told the New York Post.

Bell has not yet received the necessary permits and is still scouting a location, the Post said.

What would be upscale for “sports fans” with access to a full bar? Bouncers with tuxedos?

Yet He Still Loves Her

Originally reported by United Press International

A New York man whose girlfriend allegedly shot him during an argument said he loves the woman too much to testify against her.

Randolph Costa, 59, said he wants the court to drop the order of protection keeping Evelyn Barnave, 43, away from him. She allegedly shot him in the head on January 11, 2011, the New York Post reported Thursday.

"I'm just hoping they drop this order of protection so we can get married ... We love each other," Costa said.

Costa, who said the bullet is still lodged in his skull, said he agrees with Barnave that the gun went off accidentally while they argued.

Costa and Barnave have agreed that before their next encounter they’ll frisk each other for weapons.

Love will find a way.

A Girl and Her Vodka

Originally reported by United Press International

Police said a Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly pointed a gun at her roommate when he hid her vodka from her.

When deputies arrived at the home, the victim was outside and told them that his roommate, Kari Dangler, 51, pointed a gun at him because he hid her vodka.

Deputies confronted Dangler, who said the gun actually belonged to another roommate and that she was only holding it because she was going to clean it.

Right after she took care of that no-good, vodka-hiding roommate.

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