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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines introduces us to a guy who conducts his business from a place he calls home, a herd of runaway animals, an article on how men and women find stuff, and a guy who was a little undressed in broad daylight.

His First Call
Originally reported by United Press International

A Florida resident who heard a helicopter over the storage unit where he grows marijuana panicked and turned himself in—but police weren’t looking for him.

Edgewater police said Jasper Harrison, 47, heard a helicopter hovering over the storage unit where he lives in Edgewater and assumed that the police were there to arrest him for growing marijuana in the unit.

Police said Harrison hurriedly called 911. “I’m the guy they’re looking for,” the Orlando Sentinel quoted him as telling the dispatcher. He said he wanted to surrender without being shot.

Jasper Harrison: winner of this week’s Gomer Pyle Citizens Arrest Award.

The News from Highway 35
Originally reported by News

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (the Mounties) are warning the public about “a herd of buffalo” running loose near Tisdale, Saskatchewan. A herd of as many as 100 animals was seen crossing Highway 35, about 30 kilometers south of the east-central town.

The buffalo, or bison as they are more properly called, have also been spotted on grid roads in the area in the rural municipality of Barrier Valley. The RM says it’s working on a plan to corral them to eliminate the risk to the public and motorists.

There was no immediate word on where the bison came from.

It is generally accepted that they are to be found where the deer and antelope play.

We’re Not Telling Them
Originally reported by Fox News

It looks like there might be a partial answer to the age-old road trip question, “Honey, are we lost?” At least for now…

“Men’s sense of direction was more effective,” said Carl Pintzka, a medical doctor and doctoral candidate at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology’s Department of Neuroscience, in a press release. “They quite simply got to their destination faster.”

“In ancient times, men were hunters and women were gatherers,” said Pintzka. “Therefore, our brains probably evolved differently. For instance, other researchers have documented that women are better at finding objects locally than men. In simple terms, women are faster at finding things in the house, and men are faster at finding the house.”

This explains why men can’t see dirt.

They Call Him Ricky Dale
Originally reported by The Smoking Gun

Police were dispatched to 57-year-old Ricky Dale Rector’s South Carolina residence in response to a 911 call about “a man in his underwear sitting on his porch with a long-gun.”

When a cop arrived at the home in Woodruff (pop. 4090), Rector was wearing only a “light blue pair of thong underwear,” according to a police report. After ordering Rector off his porch, the officer retrieved the unloaded rifle and a cartridge from a nearby table.

“Ricky was asked why he was in his underwear and sitting on the porch with a rifle. He stated he was looking for deer,” the cop reported.

You have to give Ricky Dale credit for doing something productive (porch sitting)—he could be running for president.

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