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Is your child (or are you) a college student who’s feeling frazzled? Is his or her hair sticking out in all directions… though it isn’t even midterms yet? If so, your child could be one of many college students who are carrying too many course units! As a parent of two college students, I ran into this phenomenon and, after much in-depth research, I devised the following fool-proof checklist to determine whether your child has too many college units.
YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD HAS TOO MANY COLLEGE UNITS WHEN:
- Their number of units is greater than the average I.Q.
- Their books weigh more than you do
- They have more homework than the entire 7th grade class at Smith Middle School
- The total you spent on their textbooks has more digits than the credit card you used
- You accidentally start returning their mail to the post office because you forgot they
still live with you
- You overhear them mutter quadratic equations and historical dates in their sleep
- Everyone begins referring to your child in the past tense
- The number of hours spent on homework each week contains more than three digits
- The family dog has a more exciting social life
- Their P.E. teacher complains that they shouldn’t try to balance a barbell and a math book at the same time
- Your student falls asleep during class/work/standing in line at the supermarket more
than once
If two or more of these apply to your child, there’s still hope! Run — don’t walk — to the nearest college counselor. And stop by the office to pick up 9 or 10 drop slips on the way.
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