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Dear
Christine,
I married the love of my life a year after we met. Nine
weeks into the marriage, she suddenly told me she didn’t want to be married anymore. She
wouldn’t talk to me—except to ask me to move out of our home. After much hesitation, I
complied with her request, under the condition that she would talk to me when she was
ready.
For the first month, I tried everything to get her to talk. She
wouldn’t even take my calls. For the next two months, I’ve refrained from contacting her.
She has called me only twice—to ask for money.
Given her stubbornness, I’m
afraid begging will only make her even more determined never to get back with me. But if
I continue to give her space, is there a chance of reconciliation? — EVICTED NEWLYWED –
TORONTO, ON
Dear Evicted Newlywed,
As you’ve
concluded, begging will only serve to add humiliation to your injury. Rather than beg,
it’s time to insist that she talk to you. Take some time to compose yourself, and then
try again. If she continues to refuse your calls, send her a registered letter asking her
one last time to talk to you. Also advise her that your offer has an expiration date.
She must know you can’t wait forever. Eventually, you will need to move on, with or
without her.
And whatever you do, don’t give her any more money. Take your
money and get yourself a lawyer.
Dear
Christine,
My boyfriend and I started out seeing each other a couple
of times per week. After a few months, we’ve grown closer and are together almost
daily.
Shortly before we met, he’d ended a relationship with a psycho. One
day, she saw us together, followed us, and freaked out, screaming and swearing in a busy
restaurant.
When she wouldn’t stop going over to his house and calling,
I told him I didn’t like it. He told her to stop.
I still had some
concerns and did something of which I’m not very proud. I checked his answering machine
messages. She leaves risqué messages and sets up and confirms meetings with him. In my
own defence, I only peeked at his code when I was almost certain something was going
on.
Sometimes, when I can’t get a hold of him, I find out—according to her
messages—that he’s with her. Also, a friend of mine saw them together.
I
told him he has to make his mind up about who he wants to be with, and he swears he
hasn’t seen her. He says I’m starting to act jealous and crazy like the psycho.
I want to be with him, but his couple of visits a week with her must end.
How can I get him to stop seeing his ex? — LOST IN LOVE – LONDON, ON
Dear Lost,
Some people have two jobs. This guy
has two girlfriends—one part-time and one full-time.
You started as his
part-time girl and then moved up into the full-time position. Meanwhile, the ex has been
demoted.
About snooping into his answering machine messages … tsk, tsk,
tsk. Relationships take a lot of work, but they shouldn’t involve detective
work.
You do have commonalities with his so-called psycho ex. You’re both
being jerked around by him. You’re with a man who doesn’t deserve your dedication. You
can’t get him to stop seeing his ex-girlfriend—or should I say his “other” girlfriend.
That’s up to him. Besides, even if he did stop seeing her, I suspect he’d start
interviewing new applicants for her position—or for yours.
Have a
question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? Email Christine at:
single@keynotebooks.com
