0
0
Somewhere in Hollywood, there’s a room full of executives whose only job is to find the next .nightsandweekends.com/articles/08/NW0800637.php>Twilight. Something dark and moody and melodramatic. Something romantic—with plenty of good-looking (preferably shirtless) boys. Something a little bit scary. And, of course, something with vampires or werewolves or something.
Their latest attempt is Red Riding Hood, for which they’ve taken a classic tale, stripped it of all but a few remaining details, and handed it over to the most likely director: original Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke. And the result is…well…just what you’d expect.
Red Riding Hood isn’t the story that you remember from your childhood—the one about a little girl who goes to visit her grandmother and meets a big, bad wolf. In fact, the story is pretty much unrecognizable in this medieval tale. All that’s left are a few characters—and, of course, a red cloak. And the rest is just the same old paranormal teen melodrama.
Amanda Seyfried stars as Valerie, a young woman who’s struggling with a serious dilemma: her parents have just arranged her marriage to rich, handsome Henry Lazar (Max Irons), but she’s in love with penniless woodcutter Peter (Shiloh Fernandez).
Just as Valerie is about to run away with Peter, though, tragedy strikes their village. Valerie’s older sister is killed by The Wolf—a werewolf that the villagers have kept appeased for 20 years with their monthly sacrifices. Now that it’s taken human life again, they decide to fight back, but the wolf is powerful—and now, during the blood moon, just one bite can turn man into beast.
Red Riding Hood is a dark and melodramatic tale of teen longing, forbidden love, and (of course) blood-thirsty werewolves. It’s the same moody teen drama that you’ve seen in any number of films lately—but, to Hardwicke’s credit, at least it’s beautifully filmed. From the costumes to the medieval village to the surrounding mountains and forests, it’s gorgeous to look at—and it has a consistently dark, sensual, even primeval tone.
Still, there’s just so much teenage melodrama that one can take—and Red Riding Hood goes far beyond the limit. The film is made up of countless long, meaningful glances and dark, angry glares. The leading men are clearly graduates the Robert Pattinson School of Brooding. And the story—about a poor young girl who has two gorgeous (but oh, so moody) guys fighting over her—is pretty hard to stomach. The writing, meanwhile, is awkward and just plain laughable, with silly references to the original tale and melodramatic lines that will have viewers giggling for all the wrong reasons.
Just like its leading men, Red Riding Hood may be pretty, but there’s absolutely nothing beneath the surface. If you’re just in it for the moody teen eye-candy, then please…be my guest. But, for the rest of you, there’s just no need to subject yourself to another embarrassing Twilight knock-off.
Blu-ray Review:
The Red Riding Hood Blu-ray release is absolutely loaded with extras: deleted scenes, a gag reel, even music videos for two of the movie’s haunting tracks. You can even choose to watch one of three different versions of the film: the original theatrical release, the alternate cut (which includes a steamy love scene with Peter and Valerie), or Secrets Behind the Red Cloak, a picture-in-picture commentary with director Catherine Hardwicke and her cast. The commentary version offers some insights and stories (like the day that Shiloh and Amanda kept fighting on set), along with storyboards, interviews, and more.
For behind-the-scenes footage, there are a handful of additional features—like The Reinvention of Red Riding Hood, which discusses the history of the story, and Red’s Men, which (of course) focuses on those brooding shirtless boys. You’ll also find some rehearsal footage, audition tapes with both male leads, and an intriguing extra called Red Riding Hood in 73 Seconds. I’m not sure why a filmmaker would want to admit that the film is so shallow that the story can be told in just over a minute—but there you have it.
Special feature highlights include Before the Fur…Making of the CGI Mask, a super-short feature that’s both interesting and quite funny, and Making of the Score, a longer feature that explores the unusual style of composers Alex Heffes and Brian Reitzell. The haunting score is actually one of the best things about Red Riding Hood—and it’s fascinating to see how Reitzell and Heffes came up with the unique sound using some unexpected instruments (like an underwater watermelon). So if you have a few extra minutes after watching the movie (and you’re not completely exhausted from all that brooding), be sure to give it a look.
