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  • Campaign for Drain Commissioner Gets Dirty

Campaign for Drain Commissioner Gets Dirty

kdk July 15, 2004
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CHARM, OH This year is

an important one in the world of politics. Important issues will be discussed, and

important decisions will be made. But, as anyone in Holmes County will tell you, none of

those decisions can compare to the importance or controversy surrounding the campaign for

the Holmes County Drain Commissioner.



As Holmes County residents prepare

for the early August election, the candidates appear to be getting desperate. And the

previously-calm campaign is turning into a down-and-dirty mudslinging

battle.



It all started two weeks ago, when—out of sheer

desperation—Kenneth Kimber (D), who had dropped in the polls to a mere 23%, decided that

he needed to act fast or abandon the race—and his dream of being elected County Drain

Commissioner. So he put his best men on the case to dig for information—any dirty little

tidbit about his opponent that could push the Kimber campaign ahead.



And

then the piece of information for which Kimber had been praying for finally arrived. The

election team hurried to put together a campaign commercial, which was professionally

produced by the Charm Public Television crew. The commercial reveals, in a realistic

dramatization featuring none other than Charm’s very own hometown star, Kimber supporter

and WRUOK news anchor Bobby Poplar, that, for the last five weeks, Reform Party candidate

Sam McFee’s very own shower drain has been clogged!



“Would you want this

man in charge of your county’s drains?” a somber Poplar asks in the

commercial.



Holmes County residents have answered with a resounding, “No!”

Polls have shown that Kimber has passed up McFee, who now holds only 41% in the polls.




McFee’s election committee is scrambling for ammunition to use against

Kimber. And although they have yet to decide on the perfect campaign slogan to boost

their numbers back to where they had been before the scandal arose, the McFee team has a

number of options—none of which are really any good. One anonymous source reveals that

they will most likely be forced to resort to the slogan: “Kenneth Kimber—He Kicks his

Neighbor’s Dog.”

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About Post Author

kdk

Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it. Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course. As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com). Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.
kdk@nightsandweekends.com
http://www.NightsAndWeekends.com
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kdk

Kristin Dreyer Kramer has been writing in some form or another (usually when she was supposed to be doing something else) since the ripe old age of ten—when she, her cousin, and their two Cabbage Patch Dolls formed the Poo Authors’ Club. After a short career in advertising, Kristin got sick of always saying nice things about stuff that didn’t deserve it—so now she spends her days criticizing things, and she’s much happier for it.

Since creating NightsAndWeekends.com in February of 2002, Kristin has spent her life surrounded by piles and piles of books and movies—so many that her office has become a kind of entertainment obstacle course.

As if her writing and editing responsibilities for N&W.com weren’t enough to keep her out of trouble, Kristin also hosts a number of weekly radio shows: Reel Discovery, Shelf Discovery, and On the Marquee. She’s also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (CriticsChoice.com), the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA.org), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS.org), and the Women Film Critics Circle (WFCC.Wordpress.com).

Kristin lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband, Paul, and their daughter, Anna. She welcomes questions, comments, and fan mail at kdk@nightsandweekends.com.

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