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Wedding Bell Blues

maryann March 16, 2005
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Read Time:2 Minute, 41 Second

I don’t feel so

bad about not going to Charles’ and Camilla’s wedding. It
seems Her Majesty the

Queen isn’t going, either. The Queen is, however,
attending the prayer service and

blessing at St. George’s Chapel at Windsor
Castle, and she’s paying for the

reception. She’s just not going to the civil
ceremony. And by the way, isn’t

Charles a little old to be having his
mother pay for his parties? And a second

wedding reception at that? If I
were Camilla, I’d be embarrassed.

You see, it’s all turning into one big mess. It’s just terrible. I

guess
what happened is Charles and Camilla had originally planned to wed at
Windsor

Castle, one of the Queen’s residences. But the thing is, if Windsor
Castle is

granted a license to hold a wedding there, then it will have to
allow other British

couples to hold their weddings there for the next three
years. Any Briton’s wedding.

Any Briton at all. There. At Windsor
Castle. In the Queen’s living room. Well,

that just won’t do. So Charles
and his intended moved the wedding across the street

to the Windsor Town
Hall where the common folk have their quickie weddings and the

public can
show up if they want to. Ye gad.

There are all kinds of

speculation on whether the Queen’s decision not to
attend the civil ceremony is a

snub to Charles and Camilla. Supposedly, the
wedding is to be “low-key,” and if the

Queen shows up, well then,
it won’t be low-key anymore, now will it? I suspect it

has more to do with
the Queen not wanting to hang out with the commoners at the town

hall.

Well, fine. Then the Queen won’t be one of the first to see

Camilla’s new
hat. She’s having it designed especially for the wedding. I can’t

wait to
see the hat.

Experts on the Royals are calling the wedding

“farcical,” “outrageous” and
“tasteless,” and the royal wedding advisors have screwed

up — well, royally.
They also say that Charles and Camilla are “humiliated” at the

Queen’s
decision not to cross the street to attend their wedding. But a

spokesman
for Charles says His Royal Highness is okay with it. Hey, why should

he
care? He’s getting what he wants and Mummy is paying for the party.

Sounds
like a deal to me.

And to add to the entire hullabaloo,

Nicholas Davies, whom the AFP describes as “a
renowned authority” on the Royals, is

planning to publish a book around the
time of the wedding entitled, Royal Rebels. He

told the AFP, “Overseas it
really looks an absolute mess… It will be a really black

mark, and that is
very, very embarrassing for the Queen who hates to be seen like

that. It would
not surprise me at all if a few heads roll.” Oh yeah. And here we

are, the
people overseas, worrying about terrorism and tsunami victims when the Royal

Household is in turmoil. Shame on us.

Can it get any better than

this?

Nobody asked for my advice (not yet, anyway), but I think Charles

and
Camilla should elope to Vegas. And Camilla, don’t feel bad. The Queen didn’t

come to my wedding either.

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maryann

maryann@nightsandweekends.com
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