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Why is there such a difference between men and women when they get sick?
Why do we all have to suffer when a man gets sick? I don’t think any ONE
man (not naming names here) has the market cornered on Sick Man Syndrome.
This is inherent in all men.
Can somebody tell me why, when a man has a cold and a scratchy throat, he
can’t just clear his throat without following it with seven other
disgusting noises? Women don’t do this—or if they do, they don’t do it
in the family room when everyone’s watching TV. And don’t forget the
groans—they have to groan. Not big, agonizing groans. Little groans of
“Oohhhhhhh,” followed by a small gasp for breath because they are so
stuffed up they can’t breathe, and they want you to know they are dying.
And they’ll keep groaning — in case you didn’t hear it the first time. And
when they answer the telephone, they have to be sure to sound as sick and
pathetic as possible to evoke sympathy from the caller.
Women get their share of colds. If she really feels lousy, a woman might
take to the bed to rest, but at least she’s quiet about it. Nobody knows
she’s there. She’s not honking and hacking; rather, she emits demure
little sniffles whilst holding a tissue to her delicate nose. Men have
to describe every single symptom, how much, and what color it is.
Women aren’t afraid of cold medicine. A hit of Dayquil and they’re good
to go. Men are anti-cold medicine, so don’t offer any to a sick man. He
might tell you he doesn’t like taking drugs, but don’t be fooled. Men are
afraid of cold medicine because it might make them feel better, and then
they would have no reason to hack and groan and sigh and sit in the chair
and watch TV. They would rather blow unsuccessfully into tissue after
tissue than squirt some Afrin up their nose, lest they then experience the
sheer luxury of breathing.
If the cold seems to be hanging on for a while, a woman will go to the
doctor. If a woman is driven to the point of going to the doctor, it’s
usually because she senses that this cold is something more than a cold
and will not go away without help. So she will obtain the appropriate
antibiotics, jump-start the healing process and get on with life. She
will do this because she knows she can’t be out of commission for long.
There’s the job and the kids, and everyone knows women have to save their
sick time to use when their kids get sick.
Men think it’s wimpy if they go to the doctor for a cold because what
if — just what if — it is only a cold? Then, when everyone asks (and
everyone will ask), “What did the doctor say?” they’ll have to
answer with, “It’s just a cold.” Men think the best thing to do is
wait — wait so long that everyone else in the house gets sick. Wait so long
that when they finally go to the doctor and are told they have bronchitis,
laryngitis, pharyngitis, double ear infections, a sinus infection and are
bordering on pneumonia, they can look a woman in the eye and say, “See? I
told you I was sick.”
