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It may come as a surprise that a bookworm like me grew up around cars. But they were my dad’s hobby—and they eventually became my brother’s business. As I kid, I spent my summer weekends at car shows, admiring custom paint jobs (and pointing out their flaws). And if I’m sitting in a waiting room that has back issues of Glamour and Motor Trend lying out on a coffee table, I’ll most likely pick up the latter. So I jump at the chance to check out a movie that stars millions of dollars of fast cars—no matter how bad the rest of the movie may be.
Redline features some of the hottest, fastest, most expensive cars in the world—most of which came from the producer’s personal multi-million-dollar collection. It also features lots of hot chicks who are, for some reason, wholly opposed to wearing actual clothes. Somewhere in there, there’s also a story, which revolves around a bunch of guys who bet millions of dollars on ultra-secret races. Natasha Martin (Nadia Bjorlin), a hot singer who also works on high performance cars, gets caught up in the action when music producer Infamous (Eddie Griffin) brings her and her band to a race in Vegas to play for the crowd. When Infamous talks Natasha into getting behind the wheel and racing his car, she has no idea that there’s more than just $3 million at stake. There are also lives at stake—one of which could be her own.
Redline is full of the things that red-blooded American men love. Of course, there are fast cars and hot women. There’s loud rock music with thundering bass. There’s a strong, silent tough guy who also happens to be a war hero. There are random scenes involving nearly-naked chicks washing cars. There are guns and other explosives. And did I mention the fact that there’s a ton of cleavage? Oh, and just for good measure, there’s also an Elvis impersonator. It’s like a live-action Maxim magazine (okay…all of it except the Elvis impersonator). The adrenaline runs high, and the cars are breath taking.
If cars and chicks and the occasional explosives are all that matter to you, then Redline could wind up on your list of personal favorites. But if you’re one of those guys who subscribe to Maxim for the thought-provoking articles, then Redline will leave a little to be desired. You’d think with the millions of dollars of cars used (and ultimately crashed) in this movie, that they could have used one less Ferrari and hired a good writer instead. And maybe a few solid actors. The story, however, is pretty much non-existent—which is both a good thing and a bad thing. On one hand, the story makes little sense, and there are random subplots and ridiculous characters. Then again, when the movie breaks from the high-speed races and car crashes and things and tries to tell the story, it gets pretty boring—so maybe the minimal story is a good thing. It’s filled with bad jokes, horrible drama, and cheesy one-liners, presented by a cast of terrible over-actors. It’s predictable and corny and totally over-the-top. But, in the end, the bad acting and the melodrama make it almost craptastic, and the expensive cars make it a bit of a guilty pleasure. In fact, the cars alone (and, okay…the chicks, too, if you’re into that kind of thing) make Redline a decent guys’ night rental—though it’s best served in a smoke-filled room, with lots of greasy pizza, nachos, and several cases of cheap beer.
