One Hundred Names to Make Us All Thankful
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I was looking through a brochure for a financial planning seminar when I came across the name Eaton Hoggass. I asked around, and it turns out that it wasn't a misprint. The guy's name really was Eaton Hoggass. My only hope was that he had some French-type way of saying it, something like "ah-don haw-zhway." But, sadly, someone who attended the seminar told me that the entire name was pronounced exactly as it was spelled, as if a person were snacking on the butt end of a live swine.

This got me thinking... Most of us sort of dislike our own names, but most of our names aren't really so bad -- by comparison. I'm very happy, for example, that my name isn't Eaton Hoggass. And there are at least ninety-nine other men's names I've heard over the years that make me thankful for my own. Some are part of the historical record, some are names I've heard from various friends and family members, and some are ones I've actually heard people say when introducing themselves to me.

Here they are, all one hundred. Enjoy them, and be thankful for your own name. Whatever it is, it's not as bad as these.

  1. Eaton Hoggass
  2. Red Brickhouse
  3. Denny Dunn
  4. Warren Pease
  5. Morley Loos
  6. Tad Bidmoore
  7. Lincoln Laug
  8. Fritz Slickendick
  9. Jack Hoffer
  10. Lew Sherway
  11. Kenny Lingist
  12. Harry Nutt
  13. Frank Stein
  14. Wang Mee
  15. Whitey Savage
  16. Chuck Klunt
  17. Ben Launden
  18. Kurt Titwilligher
  19. Lance Boyle
  20. Dick Shavers
  21. Terry Newin
  22. Watt Delyaworth
  23. Willie Dye
  24. Emmanual Kant
  25. Winklet Smallwood
  26. Sterling Glasscock
  27. Gene Poole
  28. Hugh Wright
  29. Handley Fingar
  30. Virgil Lickie
  31. Stump Armey
  32. Lowe Testie
  33. Butch Femme
  34. Wellsely Hung
  35. Maury Funk
  36. Andy Friese
  37. Bruce Gladstone
  38. Michael Angelo
  39. Bentley Cox
  40. Gabby Face
  41. George Meany
  42. Junior Pion
  43. Larry Lipshitz
  44. Homer Sexon
  45. Gabe Barr
  46. Jerry Riggs
  47. Izzy Dunnaghen
  48. Sandy Bottoms
  49. Barry DeBodie
  50. Less Seamon
  51. Joe Shitneyberg
  52. Hy Stoner
  53. Peter Licklighter
  54. Hardy Boice
  55. Ferdinand Bush
  56. Clinton Lewinski
  57. Bob Frapples
  58. Bo Narrow
  59. Jess Kidden
  60. Leif Russell
  61. Hal Tosis
  62. Otto Carr
  63. Jim Nast
  64. Guy Love
  65. Ty Knotts
  66. Ronin Hyde
  67. Chester Hickey
  68. Drew Blank
  69. Don O'Day
  70. Ernest Lye
  71. Dick Nixon
  72. Smokey Blunt
  73. Rocky Pyle
  74. Dewey Killam
  75. Macon Pickles
  76. Howie Guess
  77. Woodie Flickerputz
  78. Cummings Burns
  79. Doug Diggleman
  80. Manny Childs
  81. Adam Haddum
  82. Payne Hertz
  83. Rudy Manors
  84. Stew Brewer
  85. Paul Bearer
  86. Roland Fields
  87. Will O'Bay
  88. Max Butts
  89. Moe Bunz
  90. Sonny Meadows
  91. Rusty Inge
  92. Mort Dead
  93. Skip Tumolu
  94. Dwight Blackman
  95. Booker Pick
  96. Ivan Itch
  97. Juan Person
  98. Neil Downey
  99. Wes Virgina
  100. Hugo Furst

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