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I was looking through a brochure for a financial planning seminar when I came across the name Eaton Hoggass. I asked around, and it turns out that it wasn't a misprint. The guy's name really was Eaton Hoggass. My only hope was that he had some French-type way of saying it, something like "ah-don haw-zhway." But, sadly, someone who attended the seminar told me that the entire name was pronounced exactly as it was spelled, as if a person were snacking on the butt end of a live swine.
This got me thinking... Most of us sort of dislike our own names, but most of our names aren't really so bad -- by comparison. I'm very happy, for example, that my name isn't Eaton Hoggass. And there are at least ninety-nine other men's names I've heard over the years that make me thankful for my own. Some are part of the historical record, some are names I've heard from various friends and family members, and some are ones I've actually heard people say when introducing themselves to me.
Here they are, all one hundred. Enjoy them, and be thankful for your own name. Whatever it is, it's not as bad as these.
- Eaton Hoggass
- Red Brickhouse
- Denny Dunn
- Warren Pease
- Morley Loos
- Tad Bidmoore
- Lincoln Laug
- Fritz Slickendick
- Jack Hoffer
- Lew Sherway
- Kenny Lingist
- Harry Nutt
- Frank Stein
- Wang Mee
- Whitey Savage
- Chuck Klunt
- Ben Launden
- Kurt Titwilligher
- Lance Boyle
- Dick Shavers
- Terry Newin
- Watt Delyaworth
- Willie Dye
- Emmanual Kant
- Winklet Smallwood
- Sterling Glasscock
- Gene Poole
- Hugh Wright
- Handley Fingar
- Virgil Lickie
- Stump Armey
- Lowe Testie
- Butch Femme
- Wellsely Hung
- Maury Funk
- Andy Friese
- Bruce Gladstone
- Michael Angelo
- Bentley Cox
- Gabby Face
- George Meany
- Junior Pion
- Larry Lipshitz
- Homer Sexon
- Gabe Barr
- Jerry Riggs
- Izzy Dunnaghen
- Sandy Bottoms
- Barry DeBodie
- Less Seamon
- Joe Shitneyberg
- Hy Stoner
- Peter Licklighter
- Hardy Boice
- Ferdinand Bush
- Clinton Lewinski
- Bob Frapples
- Bo Narrow
- Jess Kidden
- Leif Russell
- Hal Tosis
- Otto Carr
- Jim Nast
- Guy Love
- Ty Knotts
- Ronin Hyde
- Chester Hickey
- Drew Blank
- Don O'Day
- Ernest Lye
- Dick Nixon
- Smokey Blunt
- Rocky Pyle
- Dewey Killam
- Macon Pickles
- Howie Guess
- Woodie Flickerputz
- Cummings Burns
- Doug Diggleman
- Manny Childs
- Adam Haddum
- Payne Hertz
- Rudy Manors
- Stew Brewer
- Paul Bearer
- Roland Fields
- Will O'Bay
- Max Butts
- Moe Bunz
- Sonny Meadows
- Rusty Inge
- Mort Dead
- Skip Tumolu
- Dwight Blackman
- Booker Pick
- Ivan Itch
- Juan Person
- Neil Downey
- Wes Virgina
- Hugo Furst
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