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Dear Christine,
I am thirty-eight years old, presently unattached.
I have been going to dances and have met an older man who likes to dance with me. The problem? His wife sits in the wings because she is not physically fit enough to dance. Over the past few weeks she has been glaring at us.
He’s a great conversationalist and makes me feel attractive. As far as I’m concerned, just because the wife can’t keep up, doesn’t mean that he should not be able to have a good time. Seniors should be able to have friends.
Tell me that you agree that there’s nothing wrong with my continuing to dance with him? -- FOOTLOOSE - GUELPH
Dear Footloose,
Sorry! I cannot agree. You may be footloose and fancy-free, but your new gentleman friend is not. And you might also ask yourself, is he a gentleman at all if he continuously leaves his life partner to frolic with you?
Let’s pretend we’re talking about your parents. How would you feel if your father was flirting with a younger woman to the point where your mother was upset? Hmmm...
If you want to do social work to make an elderly person feel special, try sitting with the wife and keeping her company. After all, she’s a senior too.
If, on the other hand, you truly just want to dance, find someone who’s unattached to ‘make you feel attractive’.
Hi Christine,
I read your Nov. 7th column, and it seems to me that the guy from Woodstock who calls himself “Nice Guys Finish Last” needs to find me!
I am also single, attractive with a fabulous career and live in Woodstock -- and all I seem to find are the men who use and abuse and have no ambition or goals. So where is this wonderful hometown guy who's looking for a lady to wine and dine?
Tell him to hang in there. There are nice women who are looking for a guy like him. -- NICE GIRL - WOODSTOCK
Dear Nice Girl,
This is why the expression, it’s a small world, is so popular.
Who knows -- maybe the two of you will meet someday.
Nice Guy tells me that he frequents a local coffee shop on Sundays. Wouldn’t it be a pleasant surprise if you were having coffee one Sunday, and Mr. Nice Guy just happened to walk in?
Dear Christine,
I am single and have been dating a married man for almost two years. He keeps saying he’s going to leave his wife -- after the holidays, when his wife is feeling better, as soon as the kids are settled into their new school. I don’t think I can wait any longer.
Should I give him an ultimatum? Should I give him the time he needs so that things will be perfect when we finally get together? Should I step back for a while so he can see what life would be like without me? What would you do? -- THE OTHER WOMAN - CHATHAM
Dear Insignificant Other,
None of the above. You said it yourself; he’s married.
Come now, you’ve surely seen at least one of the thousands of movies, talk shows, books, or magazine articles on this topic. To paraphrase:
“If he’ll cheat on his current wife...?”
“If he really wanted to leave...?”
I could go on, but you see where I’m going.
I don’t know if you truly love him, or if you’re hiding from a real relationship by expending all of your energy on a lost cause. Therefore, all I can say that works for either scenario is: Dump the chump! Steer clear of little insecure cheating married men.
When our grandmas told us to find a husband, they meant our own husbands -- not someone else’s.
Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com.
Originally published in The London Free Press on November 14, 2002.
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