Being Alone at Dances is Depressing
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Dear Christine,

Iím a very single 34-year-old male. Among the pros and cons of being single, the biggest disadvantage for me is attending dances. Itís quite boring and depressing being a mere spectator, which is why I rarely go to dances.

Iím good with my feet, but who would know since I donít have anyone I can take to a dance?

Iíve been to singles dances, but those were a flop because everyone was twice as old as I was and had a partner. At family weddings, to avoid embarrassment, I limit my dances with family members to fast songs. The depressing part at company Christmas parties and weddings is the slow songs, where everyone is partnered. Thatís usually my cue to go home. Iím not a party pooper. In fact, I love to dance, but itís difficult when you donít have someone to dance with. Please comment. -- SCOTT Ė SIMCOE, ON

  
 
Dear Scott,

It could be worse. There are many people out there who are coupled with partners who donít or wonít dance. You, on the other hand, are single with an unlimited dance card just waiting to be filled.

If it is dancing you want, then dance.

The streets are littered with dance clubs just full of single women who are not afraid to ask a man to dance. Or perhaps you could take dance lessons. After some research, I am assured that many singles go to dance studios alone, eager to be partnered and ready to boogie.

Who knows, you may find a date for the next family wedding or Christmas party.



Dear Christine,

I am a single woman in my mid-60s, and I do not want to enter into a relationship with another man.

I have no family in town other than my daughter. She now claims to be in a fairytale romance and is planning to move eight hours away to live with her boyfriend. How can I explain that sheís only setting herself up for a fall?

Youíd think sheíd know better. She knows her father was certainly not a prince by any stretch of the word. And Iíve warned her of rose-coloured glasses in trying to spare her the pain Iíve suffered with the frogs in my life.

I always helped her when she was in trouble and freely gave my motherís love. In return, I counted on her respecting me enough to be around for me in my later years.

Itís not like her to be so starry-eyed and selfish. I have threatened to disown her if she moves away. What can I do to change her mind? -- MISTREATED MOM Ė TORONTO, ON

Dear Mom,

Since youíve chosen to use fairytale analogies, I must tell you that the wart on your nose is showing.

Like the wicked witch in so many fairytales, it seems you are driven by selfish needs. By threatening your daughter as if she has done something wrong -- when all sheís done is fall in love -- you are not demonstrating the motherly love of which you speak so proudly.

As a daughter who can honestly say that my mom is my best friend, I can understand your instinct to protect your daughter from pain and heartache. However, you must let her live and experience life and love firsthand.

Have you tried looking at this from a different angle? Instead of losing a daughter, you could be gaining a son-in-law and an extended family.

With all due respect, we donít threaten the people we love. By threatening to close your heart, you can only expect to find self-inflicted isolation and despair.



Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com

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