Pick Up a Few Tips from These Lines
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Todayís column is dedicated to those of you who have written in to ask for unforgettable pick-up lines. Iíve compiled the following ideas from your fellow readers:

Flattery will get you everywhere:
  • Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
  • Are you okay? Because itís a long fall from heaven.
  • You might be asked to leave soon. Youíre making the other women look bad.
  • Thatís amazing! Youíre eyes are the exact same color as my Lamborghini.

Silly ice breakers:
  • Excuse me; I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  • Hey, somebody farted. Letís get out of here!
  • Hi, can I buy you a car?
Bluntness intimidates the weak and intrigues the strong:
  • Iím new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
  • Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
  • Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.
  • If youíre going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in till noon.
Great for seniors:
  • You must be from Pearl Harbour, ícause, Baby, youíre the bomb.
  • With every passing minute, weíre that much closer to death. Live a little and have a drink with me.
  • Am I having a hot flash, or is it just you?
  • Well, weíll always have Paris.
Relatively funny come-ons:
  • Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom to tell her I just met my future wife.
  • Is your daddy a thief? Then who stole the sparkle of the stars and put them in your eyes?
  • Your father must be an alien, because thereís nothing else like you on Earth.
Tricky questions:
  • If I followed you home, would you keep me?
  • Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  • I canít find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into a cheap motel room.
  • Are your legs tired? Because youíve been running through my mind all day long.
  • Kiss me if Iím wrong, but havenít we met before?
The scholastic approach:
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, Iíd put U and I together.
  • You have the academic look I just lust after.
  • You look like a smart person whoís heard every line in the book; so whatís one more?
Just crazy enough to work:
  • Hi -- the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Ways to reject pick-up lines:
  • Man: So, what do you do for a living?
    Woman: Female impersonator.
  • Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
    Woman: Unfertilized!
  • Question: Havenít we met before?
    Rejection: Yes, I work at the local V.D. Clinic.
  • Question: Havenít I seen you someplace before?
    Rejection: Yes, thatís why I donít go there anymore.
  • Question: Hey baby, whatís your sign?
    Rejection: Stop!

Ouch! Have you ever asked someone to dance, only to be rejected with a nasty retort or a snobbish tone? Well, Kim Martin from London recommends these come backs:

  • Question: Want to dance?
    Answer: No, (eye roll) thank you.
    Come back: Donít thank me. Thank God somebody asked you.
  • Question: Would you like to dance?
    Answer: Not with you.
    Come back: Iím sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants.

Special thanks to Kim, Liz, Janet, Tom, Bernie, and Louis for providing the funniest lines.

After trying these you may still be single, but at least youíll be smiling.

Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com

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