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Today’s column is dedicated to those of you who
have written in to ask for unforgettable pick-up lines. I’ve compiled the following ideas
from your fellow readers:
Flattery will get you
everywhere:
- Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your
eyes.
- Are you okay? Because it’s a long fall from heaven.
- You might be
asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look bad.
- That’s amazing!
You’re eyes are the exact same color as my Lamborghini.
Silly ice
breakers:
- Excuse me; I lost my phone number. Can I have
yours?
- Hey, somebody farted. Let’s get out of here!
- Hi, can I buy you a
car?
Bluntness intimidates the weak and intrigues the
strong:
- I’m new in town. Can I have directions to your
house?
- Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
- Is that
Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.
- If you’re going to regret this in
the morning, we can sleep in till noon.
Great for
seniors:
- You must be from Pearl Harbour, ’cause, Baby, you’re the
bomb.
- With every passing minute, we’re that much closer to death. Live a little
and have a drink with me.
- Am I having a hot flash, or is it just you?
- Well,
we’ll always have Paris.
Relatively funny come-ons:
- Can
I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom to tell her I just met my future
wife.
- Is your daddy a thief? Then who stole the sparkle of the stars and put them
in your eyes?
- Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you
on Earth.
Tricky questions:
- If I followed you home,
would you keep me?
- Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
- I
can’t find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into a cheap motel
room.
- Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day
long.
- Kiss me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?
The
scholastic approach:
- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and
I together.
- You have the academic look I just lust after.
- You look like a
smart person who’s heard every line in the book; so what’s one more?
Just
crazy enough to work:
- Hi -- the voices in my head told me to come over
and talk to you.
Ways to reject pick-up lines:
- Man: So,
what do you do for a living?
Woman: Female impersonator.
- Man: How do you
like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized!
- Question: Haven’t we
met before?
Rejection: Yes, I work at the local V.D. Clinic.
- Question:
Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Rejection: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there
anymore.
- Question: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Rejection:
Stop!
Ouch! Have you ever asked someone to dance, only to be rejected
with a nasty retort or a snobbish tone? Well, Kim Martin from London recommends these
come backs:
- Question: Want to dance?
Answer: No, (eye
roll) thank you.
Come back: Don’t thank me. Thank God somebody asked
you.
- Question: Would you like to dance?
Answer: Not with you.
Come
back: I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those
pants.
Special thanks to Kim, Liz, Janet, Tom, Bernie, and Louis
for providing the funniest lines.
After trying these you may still be
single, but at least you’ll be smiling.
Have a question, a thought,
or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at:
single@keynotebooks.com
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