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TORONTO, ON Friendly Skies Airlines Flight 7236 from Vancouver to Toronto
shocked airline officials worldwide yesterday when it arrived at its assigned gate
thirteen minutes ahead of schedule.
“We landed early, and, by some glitch
in the system, the control tower failed to delay us further on the ground—which would
have caused the flight to arrive late, just like all of our flights always do. But
somehow we arrived to the gate early. I don’t know how it happened,” explained a
flustered Flight 7236 attendant.
Passengers on the flight were outraged
and promptly expressed their dissatisfaction to each and every airline official they
could find.
“I didn’t get to finish my dinner!” protested one passenger.
“It’s not every day that I get to sit back and enjoy a nice warm plate of…what did you
say this was?”
One man, who was traveling into town on business,
complained, “I planned on being late, so I didn’t schedule any meetings until tomorrow.
Now what am I going to do? I don’t even have a hotel for tonight because I expected the
airline to supply me with a room when my flight was delayed in Vancouver, like it always
is. What do you plan to do about it?” He then demanded that the airline supply him with
a room in Toronto to make up for the oversight.
“I paid good money for
this flight!” another passenger exclaimed. “I paid for those extra thirteen minutes on
the plane, and I expect to receive them!”
Many other passengers agreed and
refused to exit the plane. Several passengers remained in their seats for the extra
thirteen minutes. Some stayed for as long as forty-five minutes, claiming, “this is how
long it usually takes.”
Those who chose to exit the plane right away were
met with even more disappointment. They arrived at the airport, only to find that the
gate was empty. Not one person had arrived early to wait eagerly for the plane to
land.
“I sat here at the gate for a half hour,” said passenger Doug
Jenkins. “I was hoping to see my wife and kids here when I got off the plane, but we
were early, so no one was here to scream and run over and give me a
hug.”
“How was I supposed to know?” argued Mrs. Jenkins. “His flight’s
always at least thirty minutes late. When we showed up fifteen minutes after the plane
was scheduled to land, I figured we were early.”
Airline officials were
horrified to hear about the unacceptably early arrival of Flight 7236, and they’re
currently offering partial cash-back incentives to passengers as an apology. No one at
the airline was available to comment on the incident, but a statement has already been
released, promising, “It won’t happen again. We swear.”
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