In a recent column, I went
by the name “Not A Cow.” You suggested I should dump my boyfriend because he is verbally
After reading your response, I started feeling sorry for
him and thought maybe, in time, he would display a more sensitive side. Okay, so
insecurity and fear of being alone were probably part of it. I actually had myself
convinced that, since I’m sure my weight will go down as my health gets better, I could
put up with his insults until then.
After a couple more of his snide
comments about me being a fat cow, I told him what you had to say about his nasty
remarks. His response was that you and I are both bleeding hearts who can’t handle the
truth. According to him, I should “get off my fat ass, spend less time reading the paper
and more time exercising.” And he said this even though he knows my doctor has advised
against starting an exercise program until my health issues are
As he looked up at me from his bag of Ruffles – while I
was folding his laundry – and called me lazy, something occurred to me. He’s 5’6” and
weighs a whopping 240 pounds. Where does he get off calling me fat and
In short, I’m writing to tell you I have seen the light, and he
Thank you so much. -- FREE AT LAST – STRATHROY,
Glad I could help, but something
tells me you knew it was time to get rid of him when you wrote your first letter. I think
you just needed a little extra push into “the light.”
on losing 240 pounds worth of domineering boyfriend.
I am in love with my sister’s best friend. In the
beginning, I thought it was just a crush, but enough time has passed, and my feelings
have grown so intense. I’m sure of it.
I’m pretty sure she feels the same
way. Yet I am still leery about asking her out because I don’t want things to be
uncomfortable with her and me and my sister.
If I hook up with the friend
and we ever fight, I’d hate to put Sis in a position to feel like she’d have to pick
sides. Even worse, what if we end in a horrible break-up?
I respect the
importance of friendship and would never want to make things awkward between my sis and
her friend. On the other hand, we’re all grownups, in our late 20s, and I don’t want to
give up an opportunity to build a future with this great girl.
tell her how I feel and ask her out? -- BIG BROTHER – LONDON,
I can see that you are sincerely
concerned about your sister and her friend. You’ve already developed a serious
relationship with the friend and had a horrible break-up -- and all before you’ve even
asked her out.
Not to diminish your sister’s relationship with her friend,
but at this stage of the game, I think the more important relationship in this case is
the one between you and Sis. Blood is thicker than water, after
Perhaps you should talk to your sister before making any moves. Odds
are, if you assure her that you will never put her in the middle of any potential
problems you experience with her friend, she’ll probably be fine with
Once you get the okay from your sister, then you can make a play for
her friend. It may put a damper on the spontaneity, but I think some ground rules will be
in order before you change the group dynamic.
Call me an optimist, but I
think your sister will be delighted to think that her best friend might eventually become
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