Abusive Boyfriend Put Out to Pasture
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Dear Christine,

In a recent column, I went by the name “Not A Cow.” You suggested I should dump my boyfriend because he is verbally abusive.

After reading your response, I started feeling sorry for him and thought maybe, in time, he would display a more sensitive side. Okay, so insecurity and fear of being alone were probably part of it. I actually had myself convinced that, since I’m sure my weight will go down as my health gets better, I could put up with his insults until then.

After a couple more of his snide comments about me being a fat cow, I told him what you had to say about his nasty remarks. His response was that you and I are both bleeding hearts who can’t handle the truth. According to him, I should “get off my fat ass, spend less time reading the paper and more time exercising.” And he said this even though he knows my doctor has advised against starting an exercise program until my health issues are regulated.

  
 
As he looked up at me from his bag of Ruffles – while I was folding his laundry – and called me lazy, something occurred to me. He’s 5’6” and weighs a whopping 240 pounds. Where does he get off calling me fat and lazy?!

In short, I’m writing to tell you I have seen the light, and he is history.

Thank you so much. -- FREE AT LAST – STRATHROY, ON

Dear Free,

Glad I could help, but something tells me you knew it was time to get rid of him when you wrote your first letter. I think you just needed a little extra push into “the light.”

Congratulations on losing 240 pounds worth of domineering boyfriend.



Dear Christine,

I am in love with my sister’s best friend. In the beginning, I thought it was just a crush, but enough time has passed, and my feelings have grown so intense. I’m sure of it.

I’m pretty sure she feels the same way. Yet I am still leery about asking her out because I don’t want things to be uncomfortable with her and me and my sister.

If I hook up with the friend and we ever fight, I’d hate to put Sis in a position to feel like she’d have to pick sides. Even worse, what if we end in a horrible break-up?

I respect the importance of friendship and would never want to make things awkward between my sis and her friend. On the other hand, we’re all grownups, in our late 20s, and I don’t want to give up an opportunity to build a future with this great girl.

Should I tell her how I feel and ask her out? -- BIG BROTHER – LONDON, ON

Dear Brother,

I can see that you are sincerely concerned about your sister and her friend. You’ve already developed a serious relationship with the friend and had a horrible break-up -- and all before you’ve even asked her out.

Not to diminish your sister’s relationship with her friend, but at this stage of the game, I think the more important relationship in this case is the one between you and Sis. Blood is thicker than water, after all.

Perhaps you should talk to your sister before making any moves. Odds are, if you assure her that you will never put her in the middle of any potential problems you experience with her friend, she’ll probably be fine with it.

Once you get the okay from your sister, then you can make a play for her friend. It may put a damper on the spontaneity, but I think some ground rules will be in order before you change the group dynamic.

Call me an optimist, but I think your sister will be delighted to think that her best friend might eventually become her sister-in-law.


Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com


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