Pop Star Eats Breakfast
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BEVERLY HILLS, CA World-famous pop star Britney “Shakira” Aguilera dazzled reporters this morning by getting out of bed and eating breakfast.

The pop star, who has made entertainment headlines every day for the last three years, has done everything in her power to intrigue her fans (and those who say they hate her but really, deep down inside, admire her talent, her tenacity, and her painstakingly toned backside) with the most mundane details of her life. Magazines, newspapers, and TV talk shows worldwide have fought, each day, to be the first to cover stories of her family life, her love life, and her career. And today is no different.

Reporters anxiously peered through the windows of the superstar’s posh Beverly Hills mansion as she descended the stairs from the second floor living quarters and went to the kitchen to make herself breakfast. Cameras flashed as photographers fought for the best picture of everyone’s favorite singer, who wore a fluffy, pink terry bathrobe (which appeared to be designed by Calvin Klein) over baby blue satin pajamas. For footwear, the pop queen had chosen pink bunny slippers to match her robe. The bunny on the right foot appeared to be missing a black plastic eye—a detail that could possibly be linked to a recently-rumored wild evening with the hip, young MTV personality, Smithy Jones. She also sported a sexy new shaggy, unkempt hairstyle to give her that just-out-of-bed look. Reporters believe this may be a signal that the pop sensation is once again recreating her image.

After making her appearance, she rubbed her eyes, yawned, and continued over to her kitchen cupboard, where she then reached for a beautiful red china cereal bowl, which she reportedly purchased at Saks Fifth Avenue for $190. She then poured a large serving of Lucky Charms cereal into the bowl and soaked it in skim milk. Rumors have since been spreading that the pop star eats her cereal very carefully, saving the fun-shaped marshmallows for last. And a number of entertainment magazines are working to set up interviews to see if the pop star will confirm or deny the rumors.

Following her breakfast, the singer once again disappeared into her upstairs living quarters. Reporters will remain on the scene, as they are hoping to confirm rumors that she likes to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.

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