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There’s just gotta be something in the air in Florida.
Florida authors just tend to be a little wackier than the rest of ‘em. Dave Barry, Carl Hiaassen…you get
the idea. But I think Tim Dorsey takes the cake when it comes to head-spinning
wackiness.
In Orange Crush, Dorsey tells the story of…well, all
kinds of people. The main character is Marlon Conrad, the governor of Florida (but only
because the actual governor was killed in a plane crash with a bunch of hookers). But
back in the days when he was just the lieutenant governor, to cover up for the fact that
not-too-bright Marlon forgot to register for the draft, his advisors advised him to
volunteer for duty. But Marlon’s unit is shipped out to Bosnia, and he comes back a
totally different person. Much to the dismay of his advisors, he’s thoughtful and caring
— and opinionated. When he begins running for re-election, he buys a Winnebago called
Orange Crush and travels around the state with his chief of staff, his press secretary
(who also happens to be a crazed killer with amnesia), and a few other tagalongs and
starts talking honestly about the issues — and the people of Florida are
intrigued.
Orange Crush is insane. Plain and simple, it’s totally
insane. Dorsey obviously has a serious case of ADHD, and he should probably be treated
for it. I hear Prozac works wonders. At times, Dorsey’s advanced ADHD makes the story
absolutely hilarious — like the scene when Marlon’s opponent, Gomer Tatum, challenges him
to wrestle during the WWF’s Raw is War—but sometimes it’s just plain hard to
follow. The story skips all over the place, and it’s difficult to keep track of all the
characters — but, then again, there are so many random characters that it’s hard to care
about any of them anyway.
If you, too, have a serious case of ADHD, which
will allow you to follow along with someone else’s ADHD-inspired ramblings, by all means,
check out Orange Crush. Because if you can follow it, it’s pretty funny — in an
over-the-top, insane way. But the rest of you should be warned to proceed with caution.
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