Summer Camp Massacre Kills Thousands
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BELMONT, WV It began as a perfectly innocent nature hike, led by Miss Cynthia Sobcyk at Camp Wichahachee in Belmont. But by the end of the two hours of studying the minute details of leaves and flowers and trees and insects, twelve thirteen-year-old campers had quietly and remorselessly taken the lives of thousands of innocent insects.

At the beginning of the nature hike, Miss Sobcyk had stopped the group of young boys and instructed them to take a few minutes to carefully study the smallest details of the nature around them. Her biggest mistake came in giving them the necessary tools—paper, pencils, and magnifying glasses—and then leaving them alone to experiment.

Billy Enberg began the merciless slaughter shortly after becoming bored with pine needles and dandelions. Suddenly realizing the alternate uses for a magnifying glass, Enberg began using the glass he’d been given—along with direct sunlight—to start leaves on fire.

  
 
But that wasn’t good enough. He needed something better to burn. That’s when he noticed a passing black ant. That was his first victim.

Soon, Enberg and the rest of the campers were ambushing, chasing, and murdering innocent insects in the most creative ways, totally unnoticed by their teacher, Miss Sobcyk, who had mysteriously disappeared in the woods—most likely to have a smoke. Ants and spiders alike unsuccessfully ran for shelter, but they were ruthlessly attacked and massacred by this team of serial killers. And there was no help in sight.

That’s when Miss Sobcyk, returned from her mysterious retreat, gathering the campers into a group, smelling of nicotine. She then led the boys to their next destination, dragging them away from the scene of the crime and leaving the poor, innocent insects to bury their dead—or eat them, depending on the species.

Will the killing ever stop? Most likely not. At least not as long as there is a nature hike at Camp Wichahachee—a hike where Miss Cynthia Sobcyk leaves a group of mischievous young boys alone in the woods, armed with magnifying glasses and sunlight. Until Miss Sobcyk retires—or quits smoking—the deaths will continue.

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