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Dear Christine,
I was married for nine years until four months
ago, when my wife divorced me and moved out with our two daughters. I’m lost without
her.
We talk on the phone often. She tells me she still loves me but is
not “in love” with me anymore. I visit her and the girls every other weekend, and
everything is great. Then I have to return home to my lonely life without her. We slept
together last week and now she says she loves me but doesn’t want to be with me. She
wants to date other people.
What can I do? She keeps putting me on this
emotional ride, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’ve tried everything to win her
back. Can you help? -- DEVASTATED – PETERBOROUGH, ONTARIO
Dear
Devastated,
I wish I could help. Alas, the solution is within you.
You’ll have to dig deep inside and find the strength to get off this emotional roller
coaster.
Your wife divorced you for reasons only you and she know. She
may love you, but sometimes love isn’t enough. Her actions and words have made it quite
clear that she doesn’t want to be with you as a committed couple
anymore.
Moving on is hard. She’s proof of this, having slept with you
after divorcing you. Continue to be a loving presence in your daughters’ lives, but
abandon any attempts at a relationship with your confused ex-wife.
You’ve
seen the end of your marriage; now it’s time to look ahead to your new, single
life.
Dear Christine,
I’ve always had a
thing for the slightly larger than average girl. Not fat. Not skinny. It’s the girl with
a few extra pounds than the average who turns my head. Is there something weird about
that? Doesn’t every guy like a slim girl? -- SWEET GUY – LONDON,
ONTARIO
Dear Sweet Guy,
Obviously not every guy
likes slim girls; you’re proof of the contrary.
In case your perspective
of average body weight been distorted by the media, here are some interesting
facts:
- The average North American woman with average bone structure is
5-foot-4 and weighs 140 to 150 pounds.
- The average model is 5-foot-11 and weighs
117 pounds.
- Believe it or not, Marilyn Monroe fluctuated between a size 14 and 18
dress. She would be considered overweight by today’s standards.
Since more
women are larger than society’s perception of average, your preference simply means that
you have more women to choose from than the guy who likes the runway
waif.
To give you a better idea of what “most guys” think, I asked your
peers in Single in the City’s male panel. When given the following vague choices
of what attracted them, 91 men responded as follows:
Ultra skinny:
0
Slightly under average: 2
Average: 48
Slightly over average:
36
Large and in charge: 5
The men who agreed with you further
commented:
- “I like a woman with a little meat on her bones.”
- “Women
were never designed to have figures like adolescent boys. Thank God.”
- “Nothing is
sexier than a healthy, curvy woman.”
In summary, there’s nothing weird
about you; your preference is quite common.
Have a question, a
thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? Email Christine at:
single@keynotebooks.com
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