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Dear Christine,

I was married for nine years until four months ago, when my wife divorced me and moved out with our two daughters. I’m lost without her.

We talk on the phone often. She tells me she still loves me but is not “in love” with me anymore. I visit her and the girls every other weekend, and everything is great. Then I have to return home to my lonely life without her. We slept together last week and now she says she loves me but doesn’t want to be with me. She wants to date other people.

What can I do? She keeps putting me on this emotional ride, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’ve tried everything to win her back. Can you help? -- DEVASTATED – PETERBOROUGH, ONTARIO

Dear Devastated,

I wish I could help. Alas, the solution is within you. You’ll have to dig deep inside and find the strength to get off this emotional roller coaster.

Your wife divorced you for reasons only you and she know. She may love you, but sometimes love isn’t enough. Her actions and words have made it quite clear that she doesn’t want to be with you as a committed couple anymore.

Moving on is hard. She’s proof of this, having slept with you after divorcing you. Continue to be a loving presence in your daughters’ lives, but abandon any attempts at a relationship with your confused ex-wife.

You’ve seen the end of your marriage; now it’s time to look ahead to your new, single life.

Dear Christine,

I’ve always had a thing for the slightly larger than average girl. Not fat. Not skinny. It’s the girl with a few extra pounds than the average who turns my head. Is there something weird about that? Doesn’t every guy like a slim girl? -- SWEET GUY – LONDON, ONTARIO

Dear Sweet Guy,

Obviously not every guy likes slim girls; you’re proof of the contrary.

In case your perspective of average body weight been distorted by the media, here are some interesting facts:
  • The average North American woman with average bone structure is 5-foot-4 and weighs 140 to 150 pounds.
  • The average model is 5-foot-11 and weighs 117 pounds.
  • Believe it or not, Marilyn Monroe fluctuated between a size 14 and 18 dress. She would be considered overweight by today’s standards.
Since more women are larger than society’s perception of average, your preference simply means that you have more women to choose from than the guy who likes the runway waif.

To give you a better idea of what “most guys” think, I asked your peers in
Single in the City’s male panel. When given the following vague choices of what attracted them, 91 men responded as follows:

Ultra skinny: 0
Slightly under average: 2
Average: 48
Slightly over average: 36
Large and in charge: 5

The men who agreed with you further commented:
  • “I like a woman with a little meat on her bones.”
  • “Women were never designed to have figures like adolescent boys. Thank God.”
  • “Nothing is sexier than a healthy, curvy woman.”
In summary, there’s nothing weird about you; your preference is quite common.

Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? Email Christine at:

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