Heís Not the One If He Doesnít Want You
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Dear Christine,

I have the biggest problem. Iím in love.

Iím 21, and heís 22. Weíve known each other for five years. After four years of friendship, I finally let him in and fell madly in love. I know heís the one.

Anyway, about two months ago he ended it, not really giving an explanation for his actions. We are now working on a friendship, which is killing me inside because I love him. I will never love anyone else. Itís sad, but I havenít told him because I know he doesnít want a relationship with anyone. He said not until heís 30.

The saddest thing is Iíll wait around for him because I can never stop loving him.

I hate this. Whatís a girl to do when she isnít loved back? -- KATHERINE Ė WATERLOO, ON

Dear Katherine,

With your heart breaking the way it is, you may find it hard to believe, but youíll get over him. And you will love again.

This probably wonít make you feel any better. But if it is indeed true that misery loves company, please know youíre not alone in the way youíre feeling. The number of young adults who have been crushed by a breakup far out-weighs the number who have not.

Itís hard to say if heís simply not interested in you anymore, if heís not ready for a relationship with anyone, or if heís keeping you as a ďfriendĒ in case he needs a backup plan or the occasional booty call. None of the options are appealing.

To say heíll wait for a definitive age to have a serious relationship is as unrealistic as it is to say youíll wait until such date for him to be ready.

You clearly donít want a strictly platonic relationship with him, so be careful not to get caught up in a toxic relationship in which youíre pining over him and he includes you in his life only when he has nothing better to do.

Eight years is a long time to wait. Rather than forcing yourself into an unhealthy holding pattern, get out there and enjoy life.

Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? Email Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com.

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