Wedding Bell Blues
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I don't feel so bad about not going to Charles' and Camilla's wedding. It seems Her Majesty the Queen isn't going, either. The Queen is, however, attending the prayer service and blessing at St. George's Chapel at Windsor Castle, and she's paying for the reception. She's just not going to the civil ceremony. And by the way, isn't Charles a little old to be having his mother pay for his parties? And a second wedding reception at that? If I were Camilla, I'd be embarrassed.

You see, it's all turning into one big mess. It's just terrible. I guess what happened is Charles and Camilla had originally planned to wed at Windsor Castle, one of the Queen's residences. But the thing is, if Windsor Castle is granted a license to hold a wedding there, then it will have to allow other British couples to hold their weddings there for the next three years. Any Briton's wedding. Any Briton at all. There. At Windsor Castle. In the Queen's living room. Well, that just won't do. So Charles and his intended moved the wedding across the street to the Windsor Town Hall where the common folk have their quickie weddings and the public can show up if they want to. Ye gad.

There are all kinds of speculation on whether the Queen's decision not to attend the civil ceremony is a snub to Charles and Camilla. Supposedly, the wedding is to be "low-key," and if the Queen shows up, well then, it won't be low-key anymore, now will it? I suspect it has more to do with the Queen not wanting to hang out with the commoners at the town hall.

Well, fine. Then the Queen won't be one of the first to see Camilla's new hat. She's having it designed especially for the wedding. I can't wait to see the hat.

Experts on the Royals are calling the wedding "farcical," "outrageous" and "tasteless," and the royal wedding advisors have screwed up -- well, royally. They also say that Charles and Camilla are "humiliated" at the Queen's decision not to cross the street to attend their wedding. But a spokesman for Charles says His Royal Highness is okay with it. Hey, why should he care? He's getting what he wants and Mummy is paying for the party. Sounds like a deal to me.

And to add to the entire hullabaloo, Nicholas Davies, whom the AFP describes as "a renowned authority" on the Royals, is planning to publish a book around the time of the wedding entitled, Royal Rebels. He told the AFP, "Overseas it really looks an absolute mess... It will be a really black mark, and that is very, very embarrassing for the Queen who hates to be seen like that. It would not surprise me at all if a few heads roll." Oh yeah. And here we are, the people overseas, worrying about terrorism and tsunami victims when the Royal Household is in turmoil. Shame on us.

Can it get any better than this?

Nobody asked for my advice (not yet, anyway), but I think Charles and Camilla should elope to Vegas. And Camilla, don't feel bad. The Queen didn't come to my wedding either.

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