had an affair and left my wife for another woman. It didnít
Surprisingly, not only did my wife not hire a hit man, but we
actually became friends. We both continued seeing other people and grew even closer,
sharing our ups and downs and cheering each other up when our other relationships became
Three months ago, she met a younger man and seems to be
falling for him.
Iím such an idiot. Itís taken this to get me to realize I
want her back. I love her. I donít think I ever stopped loving her.
too late for us? Can I win her back? -- FULL OF REGRET Ė TORONTO,
Are you sure itís regret
that youíre full of?
Before you screw up her life any further, be sure
this isnít a case of ďI donít want her, but I donít want anyone else to have her.Ē If
youíre certain this isnít a knee-jerk reaction to the young stud whoís warming your side
of the bed, you have your work cut out for you. Trust is earned, not given.
Since your friendship is stronger than ever, with time and hard work you
may have a chance to get her back. Talk to her and see if sheíll consider taking you
back. Assure her that youíll stop seeing other women immediately. Then follow through. If
sheís not willing to give up Junior right away, tell her youíll wait. Then follow
It sounds like youíve done enough bed-hopping since your marital
breakup. Therefore, it wonít kill you to go without for as long as it takes to prove
youíre in it for the long haul this time.
I have a crush on a woman with whom I work. Owing to the
way we joke and flirt, I think sheís interested, too. Weíve had some great times over
drinks after work with other co-workers. Iím dying to ask her out on a one-on-on date,
but Iím concerned about all the sexual harassment laws.
I really think she
and I could be great together. Is it worth the risk? -- CO-WORKER WITH A CRUSH Ė
Being in the
same business gives you something in common, which is great. However, if you date her,
youíre risking the sanctity of your workplace.
Even the smallest spat can
cause everything from discomfort to your employer noticing the tension. And a bad breakup
could leave you living in a 40-hour-a-week nightmare. If you decide to ask her out, send
out some signals to make sure sheís crushing back.
As for your fear of
lawsuits, itís not against the law to ask a co-worker outóas long as you donít accompany
the invitation with ďif you donít, Iíll get you fired.Ē
question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? E-mail Christine at: