Torn Between Two Losers, Feeliní Like a Fool
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Dear Christine,

For years I dated a guy who was possessive and temperamental.

A male friend confessed heís had a crush on me for a year. Our flirtations escalated to intimacy, and I broke up with my boyfriend. I was shocked when my new lover didnít end things with his girlfriend.

The ex began calling and proposed marriage. I was reluctant but frustrated, so I said yes. Although upset by the engagement, my lover said heís happy if Iím happy. Then he broke up with his girlfriend, and heís been around more than ever. On the other hand, thereís a new girl in his life.

If he told me not to go though with this marriage, I wouldnít. Should I confront him? What if I make a fool of myself? -- FRETFUL FIANCE Ė PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA

Dear Fretful,

Donít worry about making a fool of yourself; itís far too late for that.

Youíve been with Mr. Possessive too long. Why are you waiting for the new guy to tell you not to marry a man you donít want to be with? He canít even make up his own mind about who he wants to be with.

Okay, first things firstócall off the engagement. Immediately.

Why are you so needy? You knew the first guy was bad news, but you only broke up with him after finding a replacement. Then you only agreed to marry him because your lover wasnít a sure thing. Itís time for you to stop depending on a man to complete you.

If you must continue with your drama, tell the second guy how you feel. But most importantly, slow down. Soap operas are best left to daytime TV.

Dear Christine,

I fell head-over-heels for a guy I was seeing. He was sent out of town to work for six months, and we stayed in touch as much as possible. When he returned, he told me heíd met a girl and moved in with her, but he insisted we remain friends. I agreed because I didnít want to lose him completely.

He gave me his address and told me to call him if I was ever in the area, so we could catch up and I could meet his girlfriend. Curiosity got the best of me, so I called him a month later when I was (conveniently) in the area. He asked me to call back the next night. I did, and he didnít answer.

Whatís his problem? What should I do to get my pride back? -- ANNA Ė GUELPH, ONTARIO

Dear Anna,

He doesnít have a problem. You do. Face it; heís over you.

People are always saying things they donít mean, like ďIf youíre ever in the neighborhood, look me up.Ē He was merely trying to soften your landing after having dropped you. Iím sure he didnít think youíd want to meet the new girlfriend. After all, sheís your replacement.

The best way to get your pride back is to move on.

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