I have always been a sleeper.
When I was a kid, I loved weekends only
because I could sleep until noon. Forget
about Batman or Speedy Gonzales or the Pink Panther, I was out until lunch.
Nobody would look twice at my sleep obsession if I lived in another
Say, in Spain, where taking a siesta is as much a part of your day as
lunch. But, come to think of it, I'll bet siestas are for men in
Senora has floors to sweep and tortillas to make. I'm pretty sure she
allowed a leisurely nap. The same goes for many places in Europe
shops and restaurants are closed for several hours each day, so
proprietor can eat lunch and take an afternoon rest. Again, I'm betting
naptime there is for the male population, too. (Maybe honeymooners get a break.) I've
never seen commercials featuring Mama Mia types fanning themselves in the hammock; she's
too busy making the sauce.
I know Japan condones "power naps," but I
need a larger dose of the good
stuff. I'll take two hours,
But as much as I like to snooze, everything has to be
just right. No music playing, no television blaring, and no faucets dripping. Rain is
good; the sound of a fan is nice, too, but no snoring from other people who share
And I need my bed to be perfect. No waterbeds sloshing.
You know, the kind
that has too much water or needs to be filled, or the heater's too
hot or not
hot enough? No air mattresses to make me sweat in the dead of
either. I want a nice, firm mattress, with clean cotton sheets. Give me
pillow, not two or three, and at least two blankets, if you please. No
holes to let in cold air. No throws. I need a real blanket.
Better yet, a comforter,
or better still, a quilt and a comforter.
You want to really make me
happy? Add a fan that purrs like a kitten to
drown out the noise, and turn off the
phone. It's not like I don't have an
answering machine! For those special times, a
good dose of Tylenol PM
really sets the mood, and of course, Karen Neuburger pajamas
are the most
comfortable things to have on. (Just ask Oprah who recommended
With those simple things in place, I can do what I do
best. So leave me
alone, I need some more rest!