The Top Ten Popular and Top Ten Underappreciated Rock Songs of All Time
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The holidays are almost here. That in mind, I have foolishly endeavoured to compile for you my list of the top 10 rock songs of all time. (No emails of complaint; I’ll slap you if you send me anything telling me which artist I “forgot” or which song is “definitely better” than the one I picked as number one. Dead serious, I’ll slap you so hard you’ll forget where you live.)

What qualifies me to do this? The answer is, absolutely nothing at all. Why is that a good thing, you ask? Well, I’m not a radio station, so I don’t care if my list offends advertisers; I’m not part of nor am I affiliated with any particular record company, so I’m not biased by brand. Also I listen to an unholy amount of rock and roll. Take it or leave it, here’s my recommendation on rock. I dare you to disagree (my slapping hand is loaded):

Top 10 Popular Rock Songs:

10. “(Another) Piece of my Heart” - Janis Joplin
9. “You Really Got Me” - Van Halen
8. “White Rabbit” - Jefferson Airplane
7. “My Generation” - The Who
6. “Sweet Emotion” – Aerosmith
5. “Kickstart my Heart” - Motley Crue
4. “Money” - Pink Floyd
3. “Back in Black” - AC/DC
2. “Paradise City” - Guns ‘n’ Roses
1. “When the Levee Breaks” - Led Zeppelin

Top 10 Underappreciated Rock Songs:

10. “Deuces Are Wild” – Aerosmith
9. “You Shook Me” - Led Zeppelin
8. “Mr. Brownstone” - Guns ‘n’ Roses
7. “Johnny B. Good” - Chuck Berry
6. “Rebel, Rebel” - David Bowie
5. “S.O.S. (Same Ol’ Situation)” - Motley Crue
4. “One of These Days” - Pink Floyd
3. “What Do You Do For Money Honey” - AC/DC
2. “Traveling Riverside Blues” - Led Zeppelin
1. “Pretty Tied Up (The Perils of Rock and Roll Decadence)” - Guns ‘n’ Roses

I want to close off by saying that music is categorized for a very good reason: so that rotten idiots like me can aggravate people by compiling lists and leaving out everyone’s favourite musicians on purpose (because we just love to read thousands of emails about how we suck for not recognizing U2 as a legitimate rock band). Seriously, though, you’ll notice that “Smells Like Teen Spirit” did not make the list either. That is because it is a grunge (or better yet, punk) song. Likewise with pop music: I don’t care how much you like “Faith” by George Michael. It isn’t really rock. It just isn’t...and I have grown tired of seeing songs that don’t belong, like ANYTHING by X-Tina or Britney Spears, showing up on top 100 rock lists. There is nothing rock and roll about either of these people and the public must be informed.

Anyway, if you’re looking for some spice this season, check out some of the music above. If you aren’t knee deep in vodka by boxing day, then by all means, send me an email complaining. Those correspondences, I’ll accept slap-free!

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