Reunion Needn't Cause Stress
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Dear Christine,

A friend from more than 20 years ago recently contacted me. Weíve enjoyed chatting on the phone and corresponding. However, because Iím so nervous about seeing him face-to-face, I think I might back out of our plan to meet. I almost wish we werenít both single; it would be less stressful.

Although we were only platonic friends, there was always a mutual attraction. I think one of the reasons we were such good friends all those years ago is because we never allowed our relationship to evolve into a romantic one. I cherish the fact that we remember each other fondly as true friends.

If the attraction is still there, and we eventually act on it, I couldnít bear it if things ended badly. He was always quite the ladiesí man, and I would never want him to think of me as just another woman he messed around with. -- OLD FRIEND Ė LONDON, ONTARIO

Dear Old Friend,

Think about all the people out there who would love to have a reunion with a special friend, only to find out they had passed away, moved away, or just werenít interested in getting together.

Stop stressing. This is great news.

Sure, there are a lot of unknowns, but thatís what makes it so exciting. As long as you donít mix up the past with the present, youíll be fine. Donít let your preconceived notions get in the way of catching up and getting to know each other again. Relax and have fun.

Wait to see if the attraction is still there. Wait to see if you both decide to see each other again after the initial reunion. Donít jump into anything too fast, but donít rule anything out, either. Just take one visit at a time.

If your friendship is as important to him as it is to you, heíll never be able to think of you as ďjust another woman.Ē If you and he were really meant to be lifetime friends, your mutual respect and love will guide you.

Dear Christine,

My ex-boyfriend and I are still good friends. Weíve always agreed that it would be unacceptable and uncomfortable for either of us to ever be intimate with each otherís friends.

Recently, his best friend, ďAndy,Ē came on to me. Nothing happenedóand it never will, now that Iíve told Andy how I feel. To my knowledge, Andy has always been a fairly reliable and trustworthy buddy, so when he put the moves on me I was more than a little surprised.

Turning down Andyís advances was a no-brainer, but Iím left with another dilemma. Should I tell my ex about his long-time friendís flirtation? Or should I just let it go? -- TORN Ė TOLEDO, OHIO

Dear Torn,

Itís good to hear you didnít impulsively tattle to make yourself look like the better friend. You have a pivotal role in this situation, and this shouldnít be handled flippantly.

Letís look at Andy: Since he has a history of being a good friend, Iím sure the rejection was enough of a lesson for him. And as far as your ex is concerned, you held up your end of the agreement. As long as nothing happened, and Andy is clear about your feelings on this, I donít see the need to cause a rift between the buddies. Just let it go.

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