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Dear Christine,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 14 months. The relationship was perfect until after the ninth month. It was then that I noticed we’d been spending all of our time at my house…not his.
When I found out he’s living with his son’s mother, I told him I did not feel comfortable with his living arrangements. He’s assured me he’s only there for his son. The mother has a separate room, and they haven’t been intimate for some time.
To this day, he still practically spends all of his time with me. He says the only reason he goes home late in the evening and spends most of his weekends away from me is so he can dedicate some time to his son.
As awkward as his living arrangements seem, I need to know if there’s a possibility he could be telling the truth about the relationship between him and his son’s mother. Or am I crazy for remaining in a relationship with him? -- JENNA – BURLINGTON, ONTARIO
Dear Jenna,
It took you nine months to notice?
Babies are created and born in nine months. Empires have crumbled in less time than it took you to notice that you are the other woman.
Granted, I’ve heard of stranger arrangements than this, but you need to take the blinders off. Why didn’t he tell you about his living arrangements until “you noticed?” It sounds to me like he’s telling the wife he’s working late.
No matter how you slice it, this guy is living a double life. Fourteen months is certainly long enough to keep you segregated from his “real” life. Trust your intuition and stop kidding yourself about this man.
Dear Christine,
My husband and I are in a terrible rut, and I don’t know how to get out of it.
We both work long hours to afford the best material things money can buy. We made a choice not to have children so we could be together and have the freedom to do what we want when we want. That’s not happening. When we get home at night we eat, watch some television, and go to bed. We hardly talk about anything except household business.
I don’t like where we’re heading. -- BORED – MONTREAL, QUEBEC
Dear Bored,
It’s what you do together, not what you acquire, that makes for great memories.
I’m sure you’ve heard enough from the naysayers about your decision to be childless. Therefore, I’d like to congratulate you for choosing the road less travelled.
Most relationships evolve into something different when children are added to the equation. Since there’s never a dull moment when the pitter-patter of little feet hit your house, you and your husband need to find other ways to keep things exciting. Clear your keys and the junk mail off the dinner table and sit down to a family-style dinner…even if it’s only once or twice a week.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying all of your material possessions. Just take your time and allow yourselves small rewards like a nice dinner for two or a weekend getaway.
Don’t be so focused on your destination that you forget to enjoy the journey.
Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? Email Christine at: single@keynotebooks.com
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