Leonard Miller Gets New Lawn Ornament
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HAMILTON, MI The entire neighborhood gathered to watch on Saturday as Leonard Miller unveiled the latest in his collection of lawn ornaments. The new decoration, a pink ceramic bunny, was placed between the middle two of Miller’s four hedges—right in front of the two-dimensional wooden replica of a woman bent over her gardening. Miller purchased the rabbit in the front yard of Mitch and Sheila Christopher’s home. He selected it out of a myriad of chipmunks, birdbaths, gargoyles, fawns, miscellaneous mythical figures, and those pillars with the shiny bowling ball things on top.

Neighbors are divided on the issue of the tastefulness of Miller’s front yard. Mrs. Burnett from two streets down said, “I think the bunny’s just the cutest thing! Len has such wonderful landscaping sense! I’m thinking about asking him to decorate my front yard, too.”

On the contrary, nextdoor neighbor, Mr. Charles, is mortified by the addition of the rabbit. “Miller’s front yard is a catastrophe! I could handle the others, but this rabbit was the last straw. It’s just gone too far,” Charles told reporters. “The next thing you know, he’ll put on an hourly show of dancing puppies. And Christmas—the monstrosity! It just gets worse every year!”

Mrs. Miller was very reserved about the issue. “I don’t worry much about the yard. I just let Leonard take care of that.”

The pink bunny joins numerous other lawn ornaments, including several gnomes, a kissing Dutch couple, and the black silhouette of a cowboy—which is leaning against the maple tree next to the driveway.

As far as the future of his front lawn, Miller prefers to keep it a secret. He says he hasn’t exactly decided yet, but he’s been checking with his power company before he determines his next step.

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