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Why are so many men hooked on Fantasy Football? My husband, Don, lays out a bundle of cash to play on a team with our son, Lance. His ultimate goal is to come up with a winning record and make even more money. He also dishes out $200 for NFL Access, which brings every single game to our living room. All dinner conversation consists of who’s injured, who’s on the waiver wire, and who should score against which team and why. Totally bored, my head plummets into my bowl of Mrs. McNabb’s chunky soup. It makes quite a mess. Yes, it’s going to happen again. Football season, that is. To be honest though, I actually enjoy it. Last season I also shared a team with Lance in a different league. Viewing this hobby differently, I find that it brings to light the real essence of men and women.
For all of you who don’t have a clue as to what Fantasy Football is, I will give you a very brief explanation. You have leagues of usually 12 teams. You pick your team according to your sequence in the draft, which is usually input on computer. You draft individual players and drop or draft more as the season progresses. Each week you select your starting line-up and play against a Fantasy team in your league. Your score is based upon how many yards, touchdowns, sacks, etc. your players complete in their game. Sites such as NFL.com and CBS Sportsline will consistently update the Fantasy scores. Now that you have an idea of what I am talking about, the following truths will expose any misconceptions you may have regarding the differences between the genders.
1. Men excel at multi-tasking - A typical Sunday is spent watching football on TV. Don and Lance will switch channels every few seconds to another game while keeping track of the last play from the previous games. They do this to “coach” their Fantasy players. I, on the other hand, scratch my head as I’m trying to figure out why the uniforms changed. It’s just too much to keep track of. My head hurts. Besides, I just can’t figure out how the players can hear us yell at them through the television set.
2. Men are more forgiving - Here in Los Angeles, we don’t have an NFL team. The
Rams left for St. Louis and the Raiders returned to Oakland. I, as a woman, don’t forgive and don’t forget. Men, on the other hand, will actually draft a member of one of those teams. They aren’t bothered by betrayal. Lance drafted a Rams’ running back on our team. I’m still fuming and threaten to bench him each week.
3. Men are fickle - The teams they root for change from week to week depending on which Fantasy players are on the field. In my eyes, a win for my San Diego Chargers is more important than how any player on my Fantasy team does. On the other hand, men have no team loyalty. Just ask my husband, son and mailman (our league commissioner).
4. Women’s intuition is more effective than men’s so-called logic - Why do women outscore men in Fantasy Football? Let me explain in a few examples. Last season, Don purchased numerous Fantasy Football magazines, spent countless hours researching online and watched oodles of sports shows to decide whom to initially draft. Jeannie, who lucked out with the first pick in that league, performed no such research. Instead she chose according to two important criteria. The first and most important was determined by who had the best rear end (RE). She chose a running back that rarely was picked first round, except for women who like his RE or just want a player named “Tiki.” When she could no longer judge the RE’s, she followed her second method by simply choosing players from her college alma mater. She set her weekly line-up according to the above standards, as she couldn’t be bothered with daily research. This method pushed her into first place. Don’s team performed a dismal 50/50. My only season loss was incurred by not following my gut. One week I wanted to start the QB for the New Orleans Saints. My reasoning was that I felt sorry for the citizens of that disaster-ridden city and wanted to show my support. Lance pleaded with me to bench him as the “experts” predicted that he would blow the game. Reluctantly, I gave in. By keeping him on the sidelines, we sacrificed 30 points and the game.
5. Women are more realistic - We know what is within our power to change and what isn’t. Don would bump me off the computer every few minutes to see his updated Fantasy score, like that was going to help his pathetic team. I, on the other hand, checked only a few times on Sunday and then once after Monday night Football.
After playoffs, I ended the season in second place with a net win of $250. This upcoming season I will keep my winning record as long as I don’t listen to Don or Lance. Maybe I’ll tweak my strategy just a little by incorporating the best RE’s in my line-up.
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