Take Time in Choosing the Right Guy
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Dear Christine,

I just moved here and have met several incredible guys. One guy is very sweet and really wants to date me, but heís not that attractive. Another one is also sweet but wanted to move a little fast for me. A second thing holding me and this guy apart is that his ex-girlfriend moved back here from out west, hoping to get back togetherówhich is highly unlikely. And thereís one more guy whoís incredible, but heís playing hard to get.

I donít want to hurt anyone or get hurt myself. What can I do to make things easier for me to decide? -- UNDECIDED Ė LONDON, ONTARIO

Dear Undecided,

Who says you have to decide right away? In fact, you donít really have a choice among the guys you mentioned. The one guy whoís available isnít attractive to you and therefore not a candidate. The other two guys are unavailable for other reasons.

It sounds like you have a fickle streak, which isnít a bad thing as long as you donít commit yourself to anyone until your eye has stopped wandering. Since youíve just relocated, spend some time getting to know a wide variety of people so you can make solid decisions when choosing friends or boyfriends.

Dear Christine,

Iím 32 and have been married for six years. I love my wife very much, but lately our relationship hasnít been very sexual.

Recently Iíve been thinking about her sister. Iíve always fancied her sister, but for about a month Iíve thought of her when I go to bed and when I wake up. I get excited when Iím going to see her, and Iím down when I donít. I flirt with her even though I know sheís not attracted to me in that way. Iím not in love with her. Itís just lust...but how do I stop it? -- S Ė WINDSOR, ONTARIO

Dear Brother,

Your wifeís sister? Tsk tsk, shame on you.

That said, letís take a closer look at your situation. You may be attracted to the sister because she resembles your wife, only without the problems youíre dealing with in your marriage. Or you may just be lonely and turned on by her because you see her on a regular basis.

Regardless of whatís causing the attraction, you need to knock it off. Stop flirting immediately. Just think of her as your own sister and start treating her like a blood relative.

Itís common to go through this type of thing after a few years of marriage. Donít be one of those people who destroys a home just to scratch a seven-year itch. Redirect your lust back toward your wife. Instead of expending your energy on lusting for your sister-in-law, put that energy into repairing your marriage.

Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed? E-mail Christine at single@keynotebooks.com

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