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Dear Christine,
I just moved here and have met several incredible guys. One guy is very sweet and really wants to date me, but he’s not that attractive. Another one is also sweet but wanted to move a little fast for me. A second thing holding me and this guy apart is that his ex-girlfriend moved back here from out west, hoping to get back together—which is highly unlikely. And there’s one more guy who’s incredible, but he’s playing hard to get.
I don’t want to hurt anyone or get hurt myself. What can I do to make things easier for me to decide? -- UNDECIDED – LONDON, ONTARIO
Dear Undecided,
Who says you have to decide right away? In fact, you don’t really have a choice among the guys you mentioned. The one guy who’s available isn’t attractive to you and therefore not a candidate. The other two guys are unavailable for other reasons.
It sounds like you have a fickle streak, which isn’t a bad thing as long as you don’t commit yourself to anyone until your eye has stopped wandering. Since you’ve just relocated, spend some time getting to know a wide variety of people so you can make solid decisions when choosing friends or boyfriends.
Dear Christine,
I’m 32 and have been married for six years. I love my wife very much, but lately our relationship hasn’t been very sexual.
Recently I’ve been thinking about her sister. I’ve always fancied her sister, but for about a month I’ve thought of her when I go to bed and when I wake up. I get excited when I’m going to see her, and I’m down when I don’t. I flirt with her even though I know she’s not attracted to me in that way. I’m not in love with her. It’s just lust...but how do I stop it? -- S – WINDSOR, ONTARIO
Dear Brother,
Your wife’s sister? Tsk tsk, shame on you.
That said, let’s take a closer look at your situation. You may be attracted to the sister because she resembles your wife, only without the problems you’re dealing with in your marriage. Or you may just be lonely and turned on by her because you see her on a regular basis.
Regardless of what’s causing the attraction, you need to knock it off. Stop flirting immediately. Just think of her as your own sister and start treating her like a blood relative.
It’s common to go through this type of thing after a few years of marriage. Don’t be one of those people who destroys a home just to scratch a seven-year itch. Redirect your lust back toward your wife. Instead of expending your energy on lusting for your sister-in-law, put that energy into repairing your marriage.
Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed? E-mail Christine at single@keynotebooks.com
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