Non-verbal Guy Sounds Like a Keeper
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Dear Christine,

Iíve been going out with a really sweet guy for nearly six months. We see each other several times a week, and we get along great. Heís taken me to parties and introduced me to his friends and family. His mom is great.

The only problem is I donít know where I stand with him because he hasnít actually told me. Heís physically affectionate but withdrawn when it comes to verbal expressions of his feelings.

How can I get him to be more open and verbal? -- NATALIE Ė TORONTO, ONTARIO

Dear Natalie,

A man who doesnít verbalize his feelings? Wow! Imagine that.

Sarcasm aside, he sounds like a great guy. He includes you in other areas of his life, and he isnít afraid to demonstrate affection for you.

Actions speak louder than words. Do you really need everything spelled out for you? Youíve only been seeing him for six months; donít start trying to change him already! He might not be the guy who will serenade you from the foot of your balcony, but youíve already met his mom, for goodness sake.

Iíd say be patient. But if thereís something in particular you need to discuss, whatís stopping you from bringing up the topic? If youíre waiting for a declaration of love, women have come a long way from the days of courting in the parlour. Perhaps you should declare your feelings for him first.


Dear Christine,

I recently found out that just before I married my husband 11 months ago, he contacted his ex in an attempt to get back together with her. She told him to take a flying leap. He also cheated on me with another ex just before we got engaged, but I forgave him.

There are other issues, but his repeated infidelity hurts the most. I know how insecure he is and how lost heíll be without me. However, Iím thinking about a divorce because I donít feel our marriage is real. What do you think? -- LIVING A LIE Ė BRITISH COLUMBIA

Dear Living A Lie,

I hate to encourage divorce, but this marriage is teetering on a foundation of lies and treachery.

The treachery seems to be all on him, but the lies are on both of your heads. You knew what he was made of even before you agreed to marry him, and you willingly ignored his true character. I suspect he proposed as a way of ďmaking upĒ for cheating on you. And I suspect you knew that.

Divorce him, and play the victim to the rest of the world if you wish. But be honest with yourself. You chose to turn a blind eye and not get rid of him sooner. Live and learn.

As for him and his insecurity, Iím sure when you jump off this teeter-totter of a marriage, heíll land safelyóif only temporarilyóon one of his exes.

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