Fiancé Not Even Ready for a Steady
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Dear Christine,

My boyfriend and I are planning to get married next summer. I’ve been looking into banquet halls and photographers. It’s been relaxing and exciting all at the same time.

I was flabbergasted when he just told me he thought we should take a break from us for a “don’t ask, don’t tell” month. He thinks a last bit of freedom will help reaffirm our love and ultimately strengthen our vows. I think this is a crock

Should I go along with it and show him that two can play this asinine game? Or should I forbid it? -- FRUSTRATED FIANCÉ – BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA

Dear Frustrated Fiancé,

Let me see if I have this straight. While you’re planning the event that’ll celebrate the beginning of your lives together, he’s planning a four-week sabbatical from reality.

He wants a bit of freedom? Huh! He’s looking for a bit of something, all right. This guy is so far from being ready to settle down. I can’t help wondering: is he even ready for a steady girlfriend?

If you’re looking for something long-term, get rid of him and start looking elsewhere.

If you’re willing to chalk this up to temporary cold feet, at the very least, postpone the nuptial plans for a “don’t ask, don’t tell” amount of time and take some time to think about whether this is the man for you.

Dear Christine,

I’ve known my friend Amy for 15 years. We’re both 24, and I’ve had a huge crush on her since grade school, when we went out together for six months. We’re like best friends, but I’m usually the one who calls her. She doesn’t call often, and it seems she’s talking to a different guy every other day.

I want to say something to her, but I don’t want to get rejected, or worse, lose her friendship.

She’s always wanted a specific engagement ring, which now costs $6,000. I want to buy it for her—just for kicks—but I also want to be with her and really show her how I feel.


Dear Longing,

Buying a $6,000 ring—for kicks—will only prove that you have more money than brains. So let’s try an approach that doesn’t need gifts or props. If you want to find out if she likes you, you’ll have to risk rejection and just tell her how you feel.

Remember, based on your own words, she doesn’t sound like she’s interested in you. Then again, who knows? She may be hiding her incredible yearning for your love by rarely calling you. And she might be trying to make you jealous by talking to every other guy she knows.

It sounds pretty risky, but 15 years is a long time to carry a crush on someone without knowing how she feels. If nothing else, you need to find out if your friendship is real and whether it can withstand truth.

Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed)? Email Christine at

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