Five Easy Spinach Finales
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Spinach Salad

Take the contents of one small bag of fresh baby spinach leaves. Do not rinse. Empty in a salad bowl. Garnish with nuts and berries. Cover and place in a sunny corner until mealtime.

*Kills two.*


Spinach Casserole

To one baking dish, add one bag of fresh-bagged spinach and one pound of raw hamburger. Bake one day at 95 degrees in a moist oven. Keep warm.

*Kills six or hospitalizes ten.*


Spinach Smoothie

To your favorite fruit, add several leaves of fresh-bagged spinach. Blend until entire mixture is smooth. Pour into chilled mugs.

*Eliminates toddlers within 12 hours.*


Spinach Tea

Rinse several leaves of fresh-bagged spinach in granny’s teapot. Pour granny a cup, making sure the tea is not too hot.

*You’ll be pocketing your inheritance in days.*


Spinach Iftar

Mix five hundred pounds of fresh-bagged spinach with five hundred pounds of fresh-bagged lettuce. Do not rinse. Add Middle Eastern spices to taste and toss well. Serve with cups of warm carrot juice in a hot tent.

*Sickens an entire occupation army.*

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