Rock-N-Roll Memory Lane
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I got bored and popped in a compilation of music videos from the mid- to late-eighties and spent the next eight hours on rock-n-roll memory lane. What fun! Donít ask me where my sanity went. See how many songs you can find hidden in my conglomeration of memories.

Skid Row, I remember you; does anyone else? 18 and life. Thatís why we donít play with guns. See, I learned something from a bunch of longhaired guys in leather pants, screaming into a microphone.

Bang Tango? What the heck? I have the sudden urge to cough. He makes my throat hurt. Must be related to Korn.

Warrant-cute blonde, but take a gander at that guitar player. Iíll be his cherry pie anytime. I wonder if they ever got dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking rich?

Dangerous Toys liked being scared. The lead singer bares a striking resemblance to Zooey Deschanel. Scary for her, but maybe theyíre related, too.

Hey, Starship did have more than a city built on Rock-n-Roll before disappearing into the black hole called the 90ís.

Axel Rose and the way he moved his hips while he sang, ooh la la. I need oxygen here! With one of the most unique voices in the business, Guns-N-Roses transcends time. My teenage sons listen to them. Sweet Child Oí Mine will always be my favorite rock song, and Axel Rose will forever remain the only man, besides Jon Bon Jovi, who didnít look gay in leather pants.

Ah, Bon Jovi! Didnít their keyboard player release a single? Maybe it was the guitar player? Actually, I think it was both. Who would have thought that one day Bon Jovi would be the first rock band with a number one hit on the country charts, with Jennifer Nettles, no less - hey, Babe, could you tone down the twang a bit. A bit more. A little bit more. Just a tad more. Who says you canít go home again?

Ugh, whatís with this Annie Lennox song? Canít say why I recorded that one.

Tina Turner and her great legs and that horse she thinks is simply the best. What? You think she feels that way about a man?

Poco? Ooh! Ooh! Is that the Diet Coke guy in the video? Come on, you gals remember the Diet Coke Guy, donít you? Iíll call it love!

John Waite and that girly haircut - I used to think he was cute. Ick! Unpleasant shudder. Ack! Ugh! Gag! Okay, Iím better now. Who did he want to see smile again?

I once thought Alice Cooper was sexy as all get out. My mind must have been full of poison! No wonder Mom and Dad wouldnít let me date. If Iíd brought home something like that, daddy wouldíve mistaken him for a deranged weasel with bushy, black eyebrows and shot him.

Someone please explain to me how "The Love Shack" became such a huge hit? Bang, bang on the door, Baby. What on earth is henroo rusty? Or is that just a case of misheard lyrics?

Fiona - whoa! You know, the girl who thought the lead singer of Winger was sexing her? I used to want to look like her. Umm - I still do.

Aw, I really liked Milli Vanilli. Too bad it was only Memorex. I wonder if they blamed it on the rain? Iíll say no more - their story is a tragic one.

Kiss - oh, my gosh. Paul Stanley still does it for me - forget Gene Simmons and his tongue - Iíd better hide my heart. Need that oxygen again, pronto!

Did your sugar daddy give you candy? Uh - never mind - hey, I didnít know that was The Thompson Twins. Hold me now.

Phil Collins so doesnít look like an 80ís rocker - not enough hair, but man can he sing! He reminds me that thereís three million homeless in Paradise. Heís kinda cute, though.

Fine Young Cannibals - donít know what to say about them other than the lead singer sings with his tongue, which drives me crazy in a bad way. Looks like someone eating cold, fried potatoes.

Is that Darryl Hannah Michael Bolton canít live without?

Come on fatso, just bust a move with Young MC. Now I know where my bike shorts and sports bra craze stage originated.

For some reason Slash makes me think of Alice in Wonderland. Didnít one of the characters wear a hat like that? Sorry, Guns-N-Roses again where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Soulsister? Snappy tune. Hope they found their way to her heart. Reminded me of an ugly version of Savage Garden. That is so not nice of me, but the blonde favors Dennis Leary. Still not being very nice, am I?

Ratt read Romeo & Juliet before going round and round????

Tom Petty and the vampires move west down Ventura Boulevard free falling.

George Michaelís gotta have faith with that sexy beard stubble, sunglasses, and tight butt. Whew! Haul in another oxygen tank for me.

John Cougar fights authority and never wins, but he makes it hurt so good!

Pour some sugar on me, Def Leppard. Thatís where my brother got the ripping-holes-in-his-jeans-on-purpose thing to our motherís horror. Itís the only time having a hole in the ass of your jeans was considered cool.

A woman sung Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap? Wait, I think thatís the cover of an AC/DC song. Who is that? Joan Jett? Sheís prettier than I remember.

Tracy Chapmanís fast car didnít take her far. Too bad, I liked her brand of music.

How on earth did Steven Tyler get away with walking out on stage? That dude certainly doesnít look like a lady. Love the music, though.


Oh, gosh, itís Prince - make that The Artist Formally Known as Prince. Whatís with this Batman thing? All that purple and weird, too.

Bang Tango again, breaking up a heart of stone - still makes me want to cough.

How in the heck did Alan Jackson get on this tape? Shrieking with laughter here. I think I was just jolted back into this decade-here in the real world.

Alice Cooper again-letís build a house of fire, Baby. You know, actually, heís not that bad looking. Oh, boy, Iíve been watching way too many music videos this afternoon-the music version of beer goggles and all that.

Motley Crue and Dr. Feelgood canít stop my heart. Ouch! No wonder Iím half deaf in my old age. Pass the aspirin please.

Debbie Gibson - the 80ís version of Britany Spears, only not as wild and bubble-headed, but she tends to get lost in some guys freaky blue eyes.

Kix - donít close your eyes or youíll miss them. Trix are for kids - wait a minute, thatís the bunny rabbit and the whole cereal thing.

Gasp! Not one Michael Jackson song on this tape. I thought he was sexy until he started going all white on me. Iím bad.

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