Warners’ Christmas Tree Still Lit
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Bob and Joanne Warner of 3927 West Monroe Street have still not taken down their Christmas tree. As the days quickly move into April, everyone else in town has long since taken their Christmas decorations down, but not the Warners.

The Warners are also usually one of the first families to decorate for Christmas. Considering that they first lit their tree on October 20th, they have now kept their tree lit for over 174 days.

The Warners’ neighbor, Lucy Kuiper, spoke to reporters yesterday. “Well, it’s not that bad. At least they don’t have those terrible lit-up reindeer in their front yard. It’s just that tree. And the flashing colored lights on the front of the house. I guess I don’t mind too much.”

But the Warners’ neighbor from across the street, Dan Zwaagerman, disagrees. “Christmas is long over,” he said. “It’s time for them to take down those lights. They keep flashing into my front window. I feel like I’m living across the street from some cheap motel or something. I’ve already taken this issue up with the county sheriff, and he has promised to look into it.”

Sheriff Joe Williams refused to comment on the Warners’ Christmas tree, and the outcome of this neighborhood crisis is still up in the air. The Warners could not be reached for comment.

It has been speculated, however, that since the Warners’ Christmas tree is an artificial tree, it could, to Zwaagerman’s dismay, stay lit for the entire year.

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