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Hey, great news. The world now knows that Larry Birkhead, a 34-year-old entertainment photographer, is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby, Dannielynn.

Good thing, because we were all on edge.

Frankly, I was hoping he’d be the baby’s father, because I just don’t trust that Howard K. Stern guy, and not just because he’s a lawyer. But Stern, good sport that he is, says of course he’s disappointed he’s not the father, and he’s going to do whatever he can to make sure Birkhead gets legal custody of little Dannielynn. Hmmm.

It has been reported that Stern’s lawyers and Birkhead’s lawyers hope to come to an agreement for Stern to continue as a financial adviser once the baby left his care.

Oh, that’s a good idea.

But what of Prince Fredric von Anhalt? You know, Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband, who claimed there was a chance he was the baby’s dad. What does he have to say about this? The “Prince” (it’s rumored he bought his title) told Greta Van Susteren, “I was very happy that Larry Birkhead is the father now and not Howard Stern. Happy also that my wife is not so much upset because bringing a child home, you know, being married to Zsa Zsa Gabor for 20 years, bringing home a child would be terrible for her and would have upset her very much and she was very happy when she had the news today.”


Now that the fatherhood mystery is resolved, maybe there could be some focus on the mysterious deaths of Anna and her son Daniel. Both deaths are ruled accidental, but don’t you think it’s strange that Howard K. Stern was around when Anna Nicole’s son died, and then again when Anna Nicole died, both from lethal drug combinations? Isn’t this a little too coincidental?

And then Stern tries to hang on to the little girl. Why? Because she’s the golden egg. When the issues surrounding Old Man Marshall’s estate get settled, this kid could come into a lot of money. And most likely, whoever controls the kid controls the money. Do I smell “motive” here?

Larry, if you want to do what’s best for that little girl, take your daughter and run far, far away from Howard K. Stern. People who hang around him tend to die.

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