Over-Enthusiastic Parents Expelled from School Event
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ZULU, IN Five excessively boisterous parents were thrown out of a recent competition between the Benjamin Franklin High School and Winter Meadows High School chess clubs.

The incident began in the eighth move of the match, when Julian Davis of Franklin made a bold move in the direction of opponent Jonathan Russell’s king. Russell’s mother, Ruth, immediately yelled out, “What was that? Did you see that, judge? That was an illegal move—he can’t move his knight like that! What are you, blind?”

Davis’ close friend’s mother, Theresa Wilson called out in response, “Don’t you listen to her, judge! Good move Julian!”

The mothers silently exchanged dirty looks until the next move, after which Ruth Russell called out, “Good thinkin’ Baby! You show him you can win even if he cheats!”

At that point, chaos broke loose. Shrieks echoed throughout the school’s halls. Mothers yelled and harassed one another—and the players. Before long, mothers were throwing punches. Within minutes, five women—including Russell and Wilson—were removed from the building, and Russell and Davis were finally allowed to continue.

Following his win, however, Davis had to be escorted to the parking lot—to protect him from Russell’s mother or any of the other mothers from Winter Meadows High.

School officials are becoming increasingly concerned with the growing violence of Chess Club Moms. Said Franklin High School principal Stan Fischer, “This is our chess club’s third parental outburst this season. I guess it just goes to show that it doesn’t necessarily take a high-energy athletic event to cause some parents to get a little too excited.”

Fischer also mentioned that Franklin has hired a security guard to attend chess competitions from now on.

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