The Buzz: The Video Music Awards
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Britney Spears made her long-awaited comeback at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday, September 9, lip-syncing to her new song, “Gimme More.” Britney’s outfit consisted of some sort of a black metallic-like bra-and-panty combination (from which her butt cheeks hung) with stiletto-heeled boots. She wore blue contact lenses, setting off her light blonde hair extensions. And, if you ask me, Britney’s hair looked like holy hell—you could see the hair extensions glued on to what remains of the natural hair on Britney’s scalp. Oh, girl, what have you done to yourself?

I watched Britney’s performance and thought she looked very tense and stiff, stepping carefully like a nervous child at a dance recital. Miss Brit was less than spectacular and pretty much walked back and forth from one end of the stage to the other. The back-up dancers had much more energy than Britney, and the dancing incorporated a few simulated sex acts between Britney and both male and female dancers. The whole thing could have been very steamy, but it was painfully obvious that Britney was just not into it. I don’t think the audience was, either.

  
 
Maybe Britney was tired. Maybe she was up all night with the kids or something. Maybe she was out clubbing all night the night before with Diddy.

*****

Comedienne Sarah Silverman did a monologue after Britney’s performance, marveling to the audience how, at 25 years of age, Britney has already accomplished everything she’s ever going to do. She referred to Britney’s kids as “the most adorable mistakes ever made” and went on to imitate Britney’s boys by making odd facial contortions. I thought this was uncalled for. I mean, leave the kids alone, you know? God knows those poor little boys have enough on their plates.

*****

Kid Rock and Tommy Lee got in a fistfight at the show, and Tommy Lee was dragged out by security. I would have thought they would have dressed up just a little bit for something like the Video Music Awards. But they both looked filthy, like they hadn’t slept in ages, and they were both dressed in grubby clothes and hats. Kid Rock had a huge cigar clamped in his teeth.

Now, what do you suppose these two were fighting over? Mutual ex-wife Pam Anderson, maybe?

*****

And of course, what would any celebrity gathering be without Paris Hilton? Yes, Miz Hilton was in attendance at the VMAs. She wore a short hairstyle that looked very nice on her.

The previous night, Paris was at a Las Vegas club, at a party hosted by Christina Aguilera. She took over the microphone and announced Christina’s pregnancy to the packed club. Christina looked shocked, and her friends were stunned, so I think it’s fair to say that Paris Hilton spontaneously shot her mouth off here.

Note to Paris Hilton: Hey, what were you doing at the VMAs and the pre-parties, anyway? Don’t you have some work to do, like charity work, or maybe closing up the Malibu beach house? And when are you going to get around to that transitional housing for female convicts? The recidivism rate is through the roof, you know, because these women have nowhere to go. And here you are running around Las Vegas while the women of Los Angeles County go to pot.

*****

Finally, is it me, or does it seem like the older Justin Timberlake gets, the more he looks like Phil Collins?

Stay tuned.

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