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Watch Out, Batman—The Shadow King is Here

Prince Charles is known as “Shadow King” or “King in Waiting,” since he will be standing in for his mother, Queen Elizabeth, at more investitures. He will also have greater access to government papers and will expand the size and scope of his private office.

Hopefully, this will make for a smooth transition when the time comes.

Well, they have to find something for him to do.

Now We’re Cookin’

The Royal Train now runs on bio-diesel (a.k.a. used cooking oil). Prince Charles will take the train for a 960-mile round-trip spin to try it out, and, if all goes well, the train will be permanently converted to the new fuel.

Do you think you could hold a bag of corn kernels over the exhaust and make some popcorn whilst chugging down the tracks? Wouldn’t that be something?

  
 
I Now Dub Thee…

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, will name Cunard Lines’s new ship, Queen Victoria, in December. I guess she gets to smash a bottle of champagne over the ship’s bow. See? I knew she would be good for something.

How much you want to bet that Camilla will have the champagne bottle in one hand and the ubiquitous clutch purse in the other?

Get to Know Your Neighbors

Hey, guess what? Prince Edward’s next-door neighbor in Surrey is going to jail for nine months. She was running a brothel.

Oh yeah, like nobody knew.

This is One Way to Make a Living

Charles, Earl Spencer, brother of the late Princess Diana, is selling furniture. The pieces are reproductions of antiques from Althorp, the Spencer family home.

The Earl has begun an 18-date U.S. tour in Dallas, Texas, to promote the furniture. The 50 people who showed up to check out the goods were given leaflets with etiquette tips on how to behave in the Earl’s presence.

Did you ever think the day would come when you would be told how to act around a furniture salesman?

By the way, the furniture pieces—ranging in price from $175 to $21,299—are not made in the USA, or even in England. They’re “handcrafted” in Vietnam.

This Family Has a Fixation With Food

I think I told you before that Tom Parker Bowles, Camilla’s son, is a food writer. Well, in case you’ve always wondered, Tom’s favorite meal in the whole wide world is his mum’s roast chicken dinner. Camilla stuffs a free-range chicken with a whole lemon and then douses the bird with the juice of another half of a lemon. The secret to the gravy is white wine. Imagine that.

And would you be surprised if I told you that Tom Parker Bowles recently spent a year eating silk worms, beetle salad, seaweed soup, and other gross stuff for his new book, The Year of Eating Dangerously? No, I didn’t think you would.

There’s something wrong with this guy.

Check back next month for more royal action.

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