A Mom Moment
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Phew—it it is cold out. The roads are a mess. All I want is to get inside and have a nice hot cup of coffee.

What’s this? The kids must have gotten out of school early. How many times do I have to tell those boys not to leave their stuff in the kitchen?

“James, Chris, get down here this minute and get this junk upstairs. Boys? Answer me when I call you. If I have to climb those stairs, I am going to beat the tar out of both of you.”

Yeah, right; like they believe that their five-foot nothing mother is going to whip up on two strapping boys who outweigh her by fifty pounds.

“All right, you two. I warned you, you are gonna get it but good. Here I come.”

I am here, the room is here, the boys are not here. Do not panic. Stay calm. They probably just went to a friend’s house. Deep breath. Pick up phone, dial, ask if they are there.

Now...Panic. They are not anywhere. Something bad has happened to my babies.

Kidnapped? Lying hurt in a gutter somewhere? Call 911. No, wait. Look first. Do not call the police—call their father. It’s all his fault. I told him he was being too lenient on those kids, but does he ever listen to me? No; I am just their mama. I am just the one who carried them for nine long months and gave birth to them. Heck, why should I have any say in their raising?

Stop. Think. You are getting way off track here. Think rationally. Do not run barefoot out into thirty-degree weather and six inches of snow. No use dying of hypothermia, that will not help. Got to remain calm, adult, sensible. Wait for a ransom note. Ransom note? Doubtful. Those two are more than six feet. No one is going to try to abduct them. Phew. Good thinking. Stop hyperventilating, find a paper bag. Breathe.

So where are they? When I get hold of those two, I am going to do them severe bodily harm, running off like this and worrying me to death. Those boys are going to put me in an early grave.

I will just wait. They will be here soon.

Thirty minutes . . . fingernails bitten to the quick . . . heart palpitations . . .

Now what? Call the kid’s cell phones. Of course. Why do I pay an arm and a leg for the service and then forget they have them? Okay, I hear the ringing.

Ringing? The backpack is ringing? Why did they leave the cell behind? Oh, my lord; they have been snatched from my very arms . My sweet babies. I’ll tear that kidnapper limb from limb. I will rip off his arm and beat his brains out with it. Hurt my poor defenseless children, will he?

Stop crying. Stop imagining the worst. Think. You have already rejected the kidnap idea. Hurt? Laying bleeding in some snow-covered alley? Both of them? It was a gang. Ten guys beating up on my darling boys. What do I do? Go out? Stay in and wait for the police to call me with the horrible news?

It is possible I may be overreacting. Yes. That’s it. They have just gotten home early and went off to visit a new friend.

Why would those two dummies walk off in this weather? Have they lost what little brains they have? It is cold out. It is snowing. When those brats get home, I am going to give them a piece of my mind. They will be grounded until they are twenty-five. If they get home. Oh, I am so worried about those two. They are really very good boys. Who would want to harm them? But there are so many bad things happening these days. I have tried to teach them the pitfalls of talking to strangers. I have always warned them about dark alleys and staying out of unsavory places.

Where are my darling children?

That’s it, no more waiting. I am getting my coat on and going out and searching for them. Where are my car keys? Never mind, I will walk. I will search every inch of this dangerous town. I will rescue my boys and bring them home, safe and sound.

What is that sound? The front door? They are home.

“Boys are you all right? Where does it hurt? I was so worried about you. Are you sure you are okay? I was nearly crazy when I found your cell phones still here. Come in and let me fix you some hot chocolate. You must be frozen, you poor things.”

“Excuse me? You did what? Walked to the mall? Forgot the phones? Do you have any idea how cold it is outside? Have you both lost your minds? Where are your gloves and hats? Why didn’t you leave me a note? Why did you forget your cell phones? You never stop talking on the darn things. Why today? Darn it, you two, how could you worry your poor mother after all the suffering I did to bring you into this world? Aren’t you even a little concerned that I could have had a heart attack or something worse? “Do you really think that I was not worried out of my mind? Boy, you would have really felt stupid if I had called the police to hunt you down, now wouldn’t you?”

“Get in the kitchen and have some hot soup and a drink before you catch your death of cold. Then get up to your room and prepare to get killed for worrying me like that. I am grounding you until you graduate college. Do you hear me? Forever. Do not think for one minute your father will not back me up. Stop looking at me like that.

“He will punish you, I promise. Because if he does not, I will punch him right in his nose. How dare he defy my authority. Now shut up you two and eat.”

Ungrateful brats. Smirk at me like that. I will call their father right now and make him come home and beat those two within an inch of their lives.

“James, did you just sneeze? See, I told you, you would get sick. Upstairs and in the shower and then to bed. I do not care. Take another shower. That’s all I need, two overgrown oxen to fetch and carry for because they were witless and got pneumonia. Stop rolling your eyes and get upstairs. NOW.”

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