Feast II: Sloppy Seconds Review
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The first Feast movie (a Project Greenlight production, produced by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon) was rapidly paced, if flawed, a low-budget piece of gore-drenched horror, mixed with a dash of dark humor: a cross-breeding of From Dusk Till Dawn, Night of the Living Dead, and Tremors. Unfortunately, there were times when the film’s vicious monsters were rendered to nothing more than annoyingly kinetic blurs by the stylized shaky camerawork.

It’s a good thing, then, that director John Gulager has dragged the creatures from the first installment into the light for the sequel. Sure, the herky-jerky camera work is still an ingredient. But with Feast II: Sloppy Seconds, we at least get some visual detail of those pesky...whatever they are (we’re never really given an explanation).

Opening up on the morning after the first attack, Feast II introduces viewers to Biker Queen (Diane Goldner, returning from the first movie, where she played her character’s sister, Harley Mom) and her merry band of scowling biker chicks. Mere moments into the narrative, Biker Queen shoots a dog, who just happens to be carrying the bloodied hand of her sister (who was killed in the carnage of the first movie). She and her leather-clad pack of wild ones then swear revenge on those who were involved in her sister’s death. Dragged reluctantly with them is Bartender (Clu Gulager, the director’s father), the owner of the establishment that was attacked in the first flick.

They all end up in a dusty, deserted town, which, the night before, had been attacked by the same creatures that tore apart the bar. Here, they meet up with a strange assortment of characters: car salesman Slasher (Carl Anthony Paine II channeling Bernie Mac), two small Mexican-style wrestlers known as Thunder and Lightning, (Martin Klebba and Juan Longoria García), Honey Pie (Jenny Wade), a cowardly survivor from the first film, and a few others. I really don’t want to spoil the fun, so I won’t tell you about the others. Needless to say, they must all fend off continued attacks by the ravenous monster things.

Some hilariously gory moments elevate the film’s sickness level. For instance, an autopsy of one of the creatures unleashes a wave of flatulence and excrement, along with a stream of monster semen. If you’re intrigued already, then this is the movie for you.

The writers (Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan, both writers on Saw IV and V) and director Gulager try to jimmy as many exploitation elements as possible into their little monster mash: the above mentioned biker babes, Mexican dwarf wrestlers, and girls in tight white tees plastered with blood. Gulager keeps the pace thundering forward as the survivors race from one obstacle to the next—just as it should be in a B-flick of this ilk.

But while everything is fun and very tongue-in-cheek, there’s still something missing: characters you care about. The closest you come to bonding with the characters is with the tag-team wrestling dwarfs—and that’s only because they’re so kick-ass cute.

Having said that, though, Feast II plays better than the original, making it a recommended guilty pleasure for fans of exploitative horror. Feast III is already in post-production—so bring on the final course.

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