Casablanca: Rickís White House
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Present day. Rick Blaine is President of the United States, and Iran has declared war on America. At the White House, a.k.a. Casablanca (ďcasaĒ meaning ďhouse,Ē and ďblancaĒ meaning ďwhiteĒ), Rick meets with his cabinet to discuss the situation.

CAST:
Rick Blaine (President)
Ilsa (First Lady)
Victor Laszlo (Secretary of State)
Louis Renault (Secretary of Defense)

(The President is seated at a table with his cabinet)

RICK: Louie, youíve got something on your mind. Why donít you spill it?

RENAULT: As you know, Mr. President, Iran has declared war on the United States. Isolationism is no longer a practical policy.

RICK: I stick my neck out for nobody.

LASZLO: We know what you did in Baghdad, and we know why you left Baghdad.

  
 
RICK: Thatís all water under the bridge. Letís deal with the problem at hand. The Taliban and Al Qaeda have established terrorist training camps in Iran.

LASZLO: But itíll take a miracle to get our troops out of Iraq.

RENAULT: And the Taliban has outlawed miracles.

RICK: Louie, when it comes to terrorism, youíre a true democrat. Iím sure youíll come up with something.

RENAULT: Donít be so sure. Youíre the only one in CasaÖuhÖthe White House with less scruples than I.

RICK: Iíve told you beforeóIím no good at being noble.

LASZLO: With all due respect, they say youíre just another blundering American president.

RICK: I wouldnít underestimate blundering American presidents. I was there when we blundered into Kuwait in 1991.

RENAULT: Yes. I remember. The Republican Guard wore green. You wore khaki.

LASZLO: Nevertheless, if we stop fighting our enemies, the world will die.

RICK: What of it? Itíll be out of its misery.

LASZLO: And letís not forget the cost of the War on Terror. Billions of dollars.

RICK: They put it on my bill. I tear up the bill. Itís very convenient.

LASZLO: Mr. President, isnít it strange that you always happen to be fighting on the side of the underdog?

RICK: Iím not fighting for anything anymore except myself. Iím the only cause Iím interested in.

RENAULT: You have a press conference in the morning. What are you going to tell the American people about our response to Iranís aggression?

RICK: I never make plans that far ahead.

LASZLO: We donít know whatís right anymore. You have to think for all of us.

RENAULT: If you donít bomb Iran, youíll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon, and for the rest of your life.

(ILSA enters)

ILSA: Hello, Rick.

RICK: Of all the cabinet meetings in all the administrations in all the republics in all the world, she walks into mine.

ILSA: I wish I didnít love you so much, but I had to tell you ďgoodbyeĒ before my plane leaves for New York. I have Christmas shopping to do. Iíll be back in a few days.

RICK: Iíll be counting the minutes, darling. If itís November 2008 in Washington, what time is it in New York?

ILSA: I donít know. My watch stopped.

RICK: Youíd better hurry. Youíll miss that plane. Hereís lookiní at you, kid.

(RICK kisses ILSA. She exits.)

LASZLO: I warn you, Mr. President. The Taliban mean to stop you at all costs. It might be a good idea for you to disappear from CasaÖuhÖthe White House for a while. For your own safety.

RENAULT: But what about Iran?

RICK: It doesnít take much to see that the problems of America donít amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Iíve got a job to do. Where Iím going, you canít follow. What Iíve got to do, you canít be any part of.

RENAULT: So the fundamental things apply.

LASZLO: As time goes by.

RICK: Weíll always have Baghdad.


THE END

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